Help yourself

[Katybetter]

I’ve been going to counselling for some time now. Tonight we spoke about 2 things:

1. How I can help myself right now. I know what I need to do to help other people but when it comes to helping myself I’m at a loss. What do you do to help yourself cope?

2. Looking forward to things. I’m really struggling with the “fact” we don’t have things to look forward to the same way parents do with their children. Parents have a lifetime of firsts with their children & I feel like this is it for us, forever. Any ideas of what we can look forward to?

[Hidden]

Hi Katy,

sorry I have only just seen your post. Sounds like your counselling is really peeling back the many layers of pain and helping you to heal. So well done on going through this difficult but ultimately healing process.

These two questions are difficult, deep and individual.

My way of coping is to choose a select army of people to support and love us through this difficult journey. I have four dear friends who inspire and love me through all my mess. One single lady, one childless lady, and two mother's! Never thought they wud make the list. But they are amazing, happy, and encouraging people. And I couldn't do it without them.

I had taken on a junior, part time role working with people I know and trust. That has definitely helped me cope more.

I have cut off quite alot of people. I just can't cope with selfish, child obsessed mother's that alot of my friends became.

I came off social media...made me alot happier and was a method of coping.

We are planning on moving house this year to live in the country. Being around countryside helps with stress.

And for the last two years I have planned something nice every month to look forward to. In 2016 we each choose 6 things to do alternative months. Often the best thing was the cheapest...like going to the seaside with a friend, a bucket and spade and bottle of processco. 2017 we tried to do alphabet dating...pretty tricky and didn't keep it up. 2016 was a tougher year and yet I found it easier because each month I had something to look forward to. Jody Day has some great ways of routing out your plan B to get ideas as to what to do.

I hope this rambling helps. All the best xxx