Support

[Flops08]

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this site & just wondered what everyone does for support & what they find helps them. It's been 7 years since my last treatment & I still struggle with low mood & depression. I can be fine for months then it just hits me like a black cloud :-(.

xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse More To Life]

Hi Flops08. Sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment. It’s never very easy moving on when you have come to the end of treatment. I think it might be an idea for you to have a look at the More To Life section of the Infertility Network UK website. This is the link infertilitynetworkuk.com/mo... After registering, you will be able to look through a list of “Regional Member Contacts” and also “Helpful Members” who are volunteers that can talk over your feelings, and know how you feel from personal experience - some arrange get-togethers too. The website is changing, but you can also sign up for an email newsletter which you will receive regularly with all the activities and events that other have been involved in. On a more practical note, perhaps your GP could enroll you for a few sessions of counselling to help you to cope with your feelings at the moment. Perhaps there is a “trigger” that starts these moods too, that hopefully you can begin to recognise and maybe avoid? Do have a look at the “site” and I hope that you soon find the support you are looking for. Diane

[pm27]

We've recently decided to cease treatment after 3 rounds of ICSI, we used donor eggs for the 3rd go and still no success. I then joined this site as Infertility Network isn"t really appropriate now.

We saw the consultant last week and she suggests further tests if we wanted to have more treatment. I can't face any more tests or disappointment plus we've spent huge sums of money as too old for NHS treatment. At 43 after 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions plus the failed ICSI treatment I somehow need to learn to live with being childless. Most of the time I'm fine but adverts, TV, comments, seeing bumps etc can cause me to feel very low. I've got a history of depression and have done lots of work about mindfulness, CBT and acceptance and Committment theory. The strategies work but no-one can tell us why or make it 'better' for us.

I know other people who have had infertility treatment and it worked for them, although they understand some of my feelings they don't know what it's like to have gone through all the failed treatment and not have a baby or babies.

I imagine that being childless will cause me sadness for the rest of my life. I'm considering some more counselling, is this something you've considered?

[Flops08 in reply to pm27]

Sorry for the late reply, been hiding away. PM27 so sorry to hear your treatment has not been successful, sounds like you have also been through a lot

It's so unfair

I have tried CBT & it is really good & I've also had counselling. Unfortunately ever now & then I struggle, I'm sure you find Mothers Day hard I did this year.

It's like every now & then the feelings of loss are overwhelming.

I had my last treatment about 5 years ago, I'm coming up to 42, like you acceptance is very hard.

Take care, big hugs xxx

[pm27 in reply to Flops08]

I think having times when we feel overwhelmed are normal. I found Mothers' Day very hard this year, hopefully next year will be less hard.

Take care!