Needing support

Hi I've just joined up tonight jus looking for people to talk to going thru the same things as me been trying for a baby for almost 4 years it's just not getting easier I try to stay optimistic but it's very hard I do feel emotionally drained and alone me and my partner have had all the tests done it's unknown infertility it's hard because they won't put us thru for ivf because my partner already has a son very upsetting it's going to take a long time to save up to have 1 round I jus can't handle the face book pregnancy scans the constant questions o why haven't you got any kids and o u should get cracking if only they knew does it get any easier ?? Jus needed someone to talk to xxx

10 Replies

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  • Hi Kelsa welcome to this site sorry to hear about the struggle you are going through, everyone on here has been through similar issues,with me it was polycystic ovaries and fibroids that caused me excruciating pain each month. I had to have a hysterectomy which was a really hard decision but it was causing me to go off sick from work each month and nearly lose my job,that was just over five years ago and it has been a struggle emotionally dealing with it for both me and my husband. It takes time with it being unknown infertility makes it harder for you as you don't have anything to go on. Where do you live? I am in North Manchester,you might need some counselling if you haven't had already. Take care 😊

  • Hi thanks yeh I probably do need some counselling me and partner do see someone not a councillor for fertility tho but it is half the problem it always comes up as it makes me so sad I'm really sorry to hear your story must of been a very difficult decision bless you have you thought about going down any other paths like surrogacy or adoption I'm not sure how that all works to be honest but people seem to do it thank you for replying to me my names Kelly and I live in Kent xx ps the hospital I went to to have all the tests done were absolutely useless it's just guess work really no body knows 😓😓 thanks again 😘

  • We didn't want to go down the adoption route as it's too intense the process and the child isn't yours at the end of the day. We have just tried to accept what we have got and enjoying our life. Good luck 🍀 Kelly sorry about the mistake!

  • Yeh i kno what your saying about the adoption route yes that's it just enjoy doing the things you do thank you so much for talking to me xx good luck to you too xxx

  • I agree with the adoption thing that's how I feel about it.

  • Good luck 🍀 to you too xx

  • Thank you means a lot I'm really glad I found this site jus nice to talk to people going thru the same don't feel like I'm at it alone thanks Hun xx

  • Hi Kelly, you are in a tough situation, unknown and unexplained infertility is really tough made worse when your partner has a child. I would recommend you see a fertility counsellor. She will help you to move on one way or other. You may find more help at the Infertility Network channel if you haven't totally given up yet. Here we are for people who have moved on and given up trying for children and are childless.

  • thankyou yes jus been told to go on the other one sorry for posting this on here xxx

  • Hi, I am new to the site. Just joined today and we have had 3 ivf failures self funded! And tried other things as well. And more than 3 years later, and due to my age getting on, we have been given 10% chance of success with more ivf but it is too expensive for that and traumatic to keep going through. My head days it's time to stop but my heart is catching up. I am struggling to find meaning in life. I've been through tough times before. I just feel so sad and it is tough finding people who truly understand. Most friends have kids and do the really understand. We are also struggling with the idea of adoption. Even though family all say they will support us and mean well by it, they just don't u derstand truly how we are feeling. Still I am grateful they support us where they can. It's nice to read others feeling the same and to feel like it's normal to be struggling. I usually love spring and the spring flowers blooming. This year I am just sad and just can't seem to care. I had too many dreams and images of family times I the garden. My husband is keeping the house and garden together at moment. I just wish I could move on. Guess it just takes time. And I just am struggling to understand why it has to be us, and how we are going to find meaning in our lives. Out whole lives stopped last year. We couldn't make any decisions as we wanted all our decisions to revolve around positive pregnancy. Now we are just trying to get back into some sports and hobbies. Sometimes it is really tough to go out and see friends. It can be so lonely sometimes. But I am certain life can be great without kids, it is tough to see it right now though .. my head says that but my heart is struggling.

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