Mental Health Support

down and anxious

I am feeling alone and like noone cares.

Before christmas an ex who i have been friends with for years said her sister was coming to visit from another country. This ex is my best friend and I know her sister through visiting her country many times.

In order to make everything perfect for her arrival i helped buy a christmas tree, lights etc and saved money as requested so we could all go visit places.

The first few days were great, I took them out for a meal, we seen some places and I got my christmas gifts.

However on christmas day I tried to phone my friend to wish merry christmas as agreed but she just ignored my calls, since then things have just got worse, everything they agree to either doesnt happen or is changed, an example of this being new year where they invited other people i didn't know and i spent the night sitting watching everyone else have a good time, and ended up getting a taxi home.

Today we were supposed to see museums but they cancelled that, and now they have told me we don't meet tomorrow either.

I just feel today used and alone, like my friend doesn't care how i feel, and the exams i have next week i now cannot focus on preparing for, my stomach feels painful and i can't eat , and i just feel like screaming.

Any suggestions or advise on how to try and calm down?

2 Replies

Hi Rob. I am sorry you feel so alone and unloved. I know that feeling very well. I don't have a partner or kids and my sister and her family don't want me at Christmas or any other time. So its a bad time for me. I am so glad its all over for another year.

I think your ex and her sister have been very rude. Maybe though they just wanted some sister time alone together and thought you might not understand. Could that be it? After all they can't see that much of each other living in different countries. Maybe seeing you so much brought back sad feelings for her? Maybe your ex or her sister has a major problem and wanted to be with each other? There could be a whole host of reasons.

One thing I do sometimes is to write it all down - be as vitrolic as you like. Then destroy it. Do you have other friends or family you could talk to or go out with?

Something else you could do - go for a very long walk and exhaust yourself.

Hope these suggestion help Rob. Study for those exams!

Bev x



I'm sorry you have had a hard time recently with feeling alone and like no one cares. I felt puzzled as I read your blog, wondering why your friend's attitude has changed so drastically, and I guess you must be feeling puzzled too. In your situation I would be feeling really quite angry at being so let down. You say you have been friends with your ex for years, but it sounds as though that's seemed to change while the sister has been visiting. You say your ex was your best friend, but it does not sound as though your ex is treating you like a best friend, so I wonder whether that's something to do with the problem, whether you were wanting more from her than she wanted from you. I wonder whether her sister visiting has in some way enabled her to make a clean break, perhaps something she did secretly want, or whether her sister has influenced her into making the break. Either way you will only know by asking. As your ex is ignoring your calls she clearly does not want to talk to you so I would suggest all you can do is to write and ask her why. If she doesn't answer the letter then you may just have to let her go and assume she wants your friendship to be over.

In relation to your exams all I can say is that there is no easy way of putting aside feelings, all you can do is to express them and let them subside in their own time. Life is not always kind, but you will survive without your ex. You don't say what the exams are for and whether they will lead to something important to you but express how you feel, get plenty of sleep and decent food and just accept that you may not perform at your best in the exams but life will go on.



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