Reflection of the past, and bottling things up

[ToniaMarie35]

Does anyone else have a problem with bottling things up and then flying off the handle sometimes, or when they can't handle stress and get depressed they tend to think of think of the bad things that happened to them or what they did? I have a brother like that also, it's terrible, have to hard time living in the future sometimes and appreciating the positive..eg. my boyfriend and family support. I can't handle stress like I use to and my mood swings can be terrible, when my mind races, I can't always help it. Sometimes it's really hard to get over things especially when the family has a hard time talking about things, which has always been that way and it's also hard to forgive not being perfect.

[downandout]

HI there yes yes and yes to all of your concerns, can i say it do i dare to say it i will cause it may help you, do you find that you cant let go of things, and it takes you forever to get over loss etc, do you find that your anger just explodes and seems to come from nowhere to the point that it scares you and you think who is that person, well if you answer yes to that it may just may be worth you looking up the following - a borderline personality disorder, also known as emotional personality disorder, and dont panic there is help available if this hits the nail on the head, it gets to the point where big things you kind of just switch off to and deal with but if someone says the wrong thing you just fly at them. If you look it up and that is what you can answer yes to at least 5 of the points then its well worth getting the doctor to refer you to the mental health team and asking for therapy, I cant spell the word you want but i have to say I have this and i am on anti depressants and have done all the therapy and finally feel like i have some sort of control in my life again, yes i am still depressed but at least i am now trying to find a job and not screaming at people anymore, hope it helps - Helen in Surrey

[ToniaMarie35]

Hi there, thans for letting me in on a bit of ur life, I appreciate it so much. I find that I have turned on people in the past and future, had a friend I lost because of my depression when I was in my 20s cuz I got attitude with her..but didn't yell. I don't usually yell, most times I bite my tongue. I find here lately I go for a walk, or go off somewhere at work if I need to vent, it's mostly crying lately and being in physical and mental pain doesn't alwas help. The one that suffers the most is my supportive boyfriend, my rock, don't know how he puts up with me!!!! I have never had anybody so much. And also when I talk about the past, I also refer to bad decisions I made that I have even talked to my bf about lately cuz I felt I had to talk about it.....I don't know why it comes back on me and makes me feel like the worst person in the world when stress builds up and depresssion hits me.

As for getting proper help I am seeing a social worker, but even a psych here can take 6 months to 2 years!!! I have had counselling for free through work, but affording it afterwards is quite the expense!!! And I hide most of what's going on when I'm at work(but have become to hate it lately), but it's getting harder, missing alot of time. I have been on a few meds and they have messed me up and my stomach usually have a reaction to them, so I went on some homeopathic meds last week, willing to try anything to be me....miss that happy me and I want my boyfriend to see that woman again. And I'm glad to hear to u a little control in ur life, bless u and hopefully u will be ur complete self again soon.