Anxiety and depression spiralling out of control I just don’t know what to do anymore

[PinkC]

Hi Everyone,

I guess I am writing on here because I don’t know how to speak to anyone else.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years. I think some of it stems from having an emotionally abusive alcoholic father. But I tried to just move on from my past and get over it. Though it doesn’t always work.

Last year I hit a bit of a bump and just didn’t want to gone on with life anymore. My anxiety spiralled out of control. My panic attacks became longer and really violent.

I went on an antidepressant (but after a while I stopped taking it though know I shouldn’t have. I did tell my doctor.)

I eventually took some time off work sick and eventually started CBT though eventually my insurance limit got reached so I didn’t continue.

In Feb my life hit an all time low when I collapsed and then had such a violent panic attack that I was prescribed diazepam.

I really tried to move on from it and even changed departments at work and my current one wasn’t working for me.

I started my new role in April and for a while things got better.

But over the last month and a half I have slipped back into a spiral. I sometimes wake up screaming and don’t know why and other times I remember my nightmares so vividly.

I am now having almost daily panic attacks and constantly feel like I’m drowning and just don’t have the fight in me anymore

The only thing that makes me feel better is to stick a sowing needle or my nails into my skin.

I’m scared to tell my job - though I have finally told them I have mental health issues that I’m dealing with.

But the diazepam stops me from working efficiently. But the panic attacks make it impossible to work all together.

My job is very demanding and stressful and requires long hours and a lot of attention to detail. I really don’t feel good about what I do and and find it really hard to cope in such a commercial environment.

I have just done a mental health referral a couple of weeks ago and am waiting for the letter.

I have been offered a new anti depressant called

mirtazapine but am scared it will make me feel like the previous tablets did. Does anyone else take it and if so how does it make you feel?

I the meantime I just use diazepam for my paining attacks but they are so frequent now I feel like I’m taking it too much but am scared to get addicted

I just don’t know what to do anymore

[Josie-Anne]

Hi PinkC,

I understand how you may be feeling as I have panic and anxiety attacks and can’t even get out of bed let alone the door. You say your insurance is up to its limit so you’ve had to stop 🛑 so I guess you live in USA or somewhere, I think firstly you need to share your fears about the antidepressant with your doctor, they can make you worse before you feel better and take 4-6 weeks before they start taking any affect.

Does your doctor know you self harm? That depressant makes you feel hungry all the time and want sweet things so you can put weight on with them, there is a calm app which does help it’s got meditations, breathing exercises which are crucial for anyone with anxiety and sleep stories and calming music, get can download it from your App Store on your phone. If you find your anxiety is reaching a peak, sit quietly and breath in through your nose 4-5 breaths and out through your mouth 6-7 breaths and count your breaths as it’s helps to bring your heart rate down, it can also affect any medication your taking also herbal ones. My niece has just had sleep studies done through her doctor as she has terrible nightmares and feels the pain and remembers them so it’s worth having a pen and paper by your bedside and write anything down that bothers you. You may also need to see a psychologist. If it is affecting your work as you didn’t say what you do it may be worth having a word with your boss and explaining the situation if they are empathic and approachable to relieve you of some anxiety, plus daily affirmations are available free on DailyOM, diazepam I’m on and you can get addicted depending on how much you take. I hope some of this helps, look on the advice for the depressant and see for yourself whether it will be suitable for you as you know your own body, just DO NOT come straight off these as you’ll go cold turkey, good luck josie-Anne

[Hidden]

Hello and Welcome

You mention problems with your Father and His Drinking, yes something like this can cause problems especially if the Father is causing pain to His Children.

Did your mother have any control over your Father, Do you have any Siblings you can talk to that may help. Are you married ?

Many people go into employement and find the work is not of their liking, if this is the case how are you getting on in the job and those people around you. Sometimes we find the work situation, you explained are not of your liking and you were moved to a new department, where you are still not happy with the work situation.

Medications you describe, AD DRUGS take time too work upwards of five weeks. Even then some drugs may not be suitable and you will suffer side effects. Generally given time these problems disappear and the medication does its job well, I have been on one now for over thirty years, they do what is described so that is great. Changing medications too frequently, the mumber of drugs is not infinate so it is important you give all medications a chance to work. If you keep changing that in itself can slow down recovery. Mirtizapam is a good choice taken by many so there is nothing to worry about, given time to work hopefully you will get better and not need to take these medications over long periods.

Consider Relaxation Techniques,, MINDFULNESS and Breathing Techniques

You can purchase books on Amazon for about $10,00.

Keeping busy does help, if you have interests, Hobbies or Diversions do help.

When I was at work at Lunchtime I would go for a walk. Great if there is a park nearbye. Consider jointing clubs, sport or similar that can help. Some clubs do weekend activities together, you will make friends and gain that support you seem to really need

BOB