Down the rabbit hole.

[Diamonddaisy]

I'm struggling. So much stress and anxiety.

My sleep is all over the place.

Physically struggling with constant pains, arthritis, fibro.

But life is choking me.

I work, it's torture, more so now. You see I'm a cleaner. I have one site, a doctors surgery. It terrifies me right now. Friday I went in and one of the room was taped off with yellow hazard tape with do not enter., I didn't do my job properly, I have a heart issue, triggered by my fear on Friday.

I'm comfort easting, my weight is piling on

I hate myself, I have three kids at home, youngest 17 all with health issues.

Life is too much to bear.

We lost out two rabbits to a virus. It had shattered my heart into a million pieces and can't stop crying.

I'm on ecitalopram. Don't think the are working any more.

My mind is in a turmoil. My life for over five years now it hard. Divorce, kids health, caring for a difficult mother 89.

I can't carry all of this on my own. I'm lonely. I miss hugs (my kids don't like physical contact).

I'm 61 almost 62.

Is this all there is.

Physically and mentally I pretty much have nothing left.

Sick of crying. I have no friends or other family.

Not sure what I'm asking for here. Just needing to put it out here.

Thankyou for reading my post.

[Hidden]

Welcome

I have suffered pain now since 1976, I suffer PsA, I was introduced to a Pain Clinic and they sent me on courses to understand my disability and move on. Sometimes it can take time to find medications to control your pain. Have you TENS machine or similar.

You can also try Relaxation Technique Mindfulness, to calm your distress caused by your pain.

I am seventy soon and I use the techniques shown to control my pain, discuss your medication.

Hopefully to control your pain, will help you with your mental health

BOB

[SimonUK]

Hitting rock bottom can make a great foundation to start over. Stress and anxiety increases pain, so the first thing you should do is address this issue, through new or increased meds or relaxation techniques.

Book a doctor's appointment for mental health and then book another separate appointment for the pain as they can temporarily give you other medications while you address the stress and anxiety.

The weight you're piling in is nothing to worry about at this stage, focus on improving your mental health and pain management, then when you're a little bit more happier you can then address this.

A marriage breaking down is never easy but when your in a better position you will find pleasure from dating others.

As regards of the rabbit's, I have had them for pets for over 20 years, they are extremely hard and weak pets to keep, very sensitive to gastro issues and viruses. They need yearly vaccines and even then after 4-5 years they can develope other issues. Some live to very old, some don't at all. I recommend harder pets like dogs and cats if you struggle with lose.

[Diamonddaisy in reply to SimonUK]

Thank you. Suffered depression most of my life. Historically going back to abuse as a child. I've had lots of talking therapies. My gp has tried lots of medications, both for pain and depression. His solution now is basic relief, paracetamol and codeine.

I've started ibuprofen but not good with my stomach and I'm on anticoagulants for my heart.

My daughter suffers pain too.

The guilt there isn't helping, she was dx with hypermobile ehlers-danlos. Ticked a lot of boxed for my struggles so feel guilty that she has it, though common sense is that I didn't know what was wrong with me and was even under psychiatric for munchausens. So, messed up and as a youngster thought everyone suffered pain and I was just weak.