Can anyone relate?

[Kenny426]

Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day and I realized some stuff about myself I might not have thought into as much before.

To give you all a little background, I just moved out of my parents to go to school full time. I have been off medication for 1 year for bipolar depression and I have been doing extremely well. I totally did a 180 with my life. My parents and family are very happy for me. Back home, while in high school to about 21, I was not the nicest person to friends and family. This really bothered me when I realized and that motivated me to completely change my life for good.

While I was talking to my friend back home through FaceTime, I found that if I spoke out loud about what I’m feeling, I can realize some stuff that I wouldn’t normally, like just thinking to myself in my head. I just found that I’m completely lonely, or at least I feel that way. Especially in the sense of having a significant other. It seems like I have an inner need to be able to love someone. But I am just so filled with heartbreak from previous relationships.

I’m a musician, and the only songs I’ve ever written were about heartbreak. Given, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind through some of those relationships, but now there’s just this emptiness inside me that just hurts so bad. It’s almost been 2 years since I was last in a relationship so I know I have gotten over my last ex, I was able to get some closure and end in a very mature way. But now at 23 living on my own, I feel as that empty feeling is even more enhanced. This is something that just completely eats me up inside.

I have talked to only a small amount of people about these feelings because I am somewhat embarrassed to voice them, but I am very lucky to have a couple great friends that do listen and try to help. I’ve been told to stop looking and love will find you, or just go out and meet people, etc. I have a fear of going up to people I don’t know and talking, although I don’t consider myself that shy. But this pain my heart has endured just feels like it’s not healing. It’s like all the pain from my past relationships all get added up and I feel the worst parts of those too much.

I apologize that this was long, or if this wasn’t the right place to post this. I appreciate any and all advice. Thank you for listening.

Best wishes,

Kenny

[Dolphin14]

Kenny

I'm sorry you feel so lonely. The best way to meet people is to get yourself out there.

What type of groups can you join at school? That may be a good spot to meet someone.

One of my daughters met someone on a web site. They dated for a couple years and just got married.

There is someone out there for you

[sweetiepye]

Don't be afraid of lonely. If you never feel empty you won't know full. Pam