I’ve got bipolar 2 general anxiety childhood adhd acrophobia and suspected autism.
I’ve had the week from absolute hell. I had started on a new diet plan and was doing great.. then I had a women’s monthly cycle from hell.. it was that bad I cried in pain.. ended up in bed.. and my emotions were everywhere.. horrendous .. I went to the dr she suspected a early miscarriage .. anyway the bleeding stopped And started again.. I went to the walk in centre and had an examination was told I had cells from my Fallopian tube in my cervix that were causing the bleeding.. and that I had a lot of discharge in my womb to get checked for other infections..
So she really hurt me .. “ cleaning me out”..
I couldn’t sleep at all at night as the day I had seen the dr two receptionists were talking about a women who died of sepsis after a infection in her womb.
So that has been stuck in my head.. and I’ve obsessed over it..
So the bleedings started again.. and I hadn’t slept at all.. I had a really bad night ..
I went to sexual health clinic.. had a load of tests and then had a massive meltdown at the clinic.. where several nurses has to calm me down.. I went into a proper melt down I was in tears.. all my tests were negative but the nurses were great..
so that night I got a good night sleep.. but while I was relaxing in the garden next door starts playing rave really loud and I had to go in the house..
My bf tried talking to me but my eyes glazed over and a scene set before my eyes of me going mental.. throwing bricks through their windows and killing them..
so I said to my bf I’m not well.. I’m going to lose my temper and I can’t.. so we had tea watched the chase.. and he left to walk the dog..
I blew 90 quid gambling .. and my head went west..
my bf took me out for a drive but I think everything has got on top of me..
I see the mental health team next month regarding my meds..
I have a nurse that visits me at home for well being ..
I’m also struggling with chronic fatigue and pain.. so I can’t burn off my manic episodes anymore.. I’ve been like this for the last 4 years..
I needed to get it all out as I felt like I could have gone mad with anger .. I needed to get it off my chest