Hey, you. Yes, you.
You’re on your recovery road but you keep taking two steps and then one step back? Sometimes you just take several steps back, and sometimes a hurricane puts you all the way back at the start. Well, that’s going to happen.
I can’t say that- there’s a chance that your recovery is going to be quick and snappy, with no setbacks. But let’s face it- the chance of that is tiny, minuscule, like bacteria. And I know that’s unfair, but such is the nature of recovery.
Perhaps you wish that you could give up, that you could just stop fighting, because I do too. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? I know. Perhaps you wish you had never told anyone if you have, but it’s worth it. Alone, it’s hard. But with other people, it’s easier. I totally get that it might seem a hell of a lot harder with other people ‘helping’ you, but in the end, it will benefit you.
Perhaps you relapsed recently, or you’re trying to get better but you’re not. I know how frustrating it can be. How angry you can feel at yourself, how regretful, how guilty. It’s a tug of war. You want to give in, but you don’t. You want to get better, but you don’t. I know it’s hard.
But don’t beat yourself up. In the end it’ll work out. There will be obstacles, it might be two steps forward, one step back the whole entire way. But the experience will wisen you and make you mature and stronger. You will make it. You can do it.
I know it might seem impossible right now, but nothing’s impossible except for the fact that everything is impossible. I had to think that out carefully, haha. But seriously.
I know, I know. You might think I’m just being too optimistic. But I’m not. I’m speaking the truth.
It’s hard, and that‘s just how it is. If everything in life was easy, we, as humans, would be really bored, and we’d never grow and improve. Every step of the way might be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done, but when you get there, you have done something that some other people would never dream of doing. You conquered your own Mount Everest.
Getting back up again is hard too. People may judge you for your failures, but instead, if they really insist on judging, it should be about how many times you fell and got back up again. It’s okay to have an off-day. It’s okay to relapse. No, it’s not a good thing, but it’s not your fault and it’s not a failure. It’s an inevitable hiccup. I know it’s exhausting, trying to get better, and if you don’t even want to get better, it’s even harder because you’re doing something you don’t know why you’re doing. You’re doing it for you. You’re doing it to get your life back. Your life of happiness and freedom. Freedom from whatever you have- anorexia, anxiety, depression, SAD, OCD, whatever.
Why should you keep fighting? Because you don’t deserve to be stuck in the hell you’re in now. You deserve to be happy. The thoughts in your head putting you down, bullying you, are wrong. You do deserve happiness and hope.
It’s okay to take a break. Not that it’s okay to stop fighting- I mean just to take a day off from your packed schedule. Call in sick at work or school, sit down and watch a movie, sleep all day. Relax. But don’t stop fighting. If you have anorexia, don’t stop eating. If you have OCD, don’t give in to the compulsions. If you have depression, don’t beat yourself up. Keep fighting, just relax.
You. Can. Ducking 🦆. Do. It.