Grieving the loss of what never was

[MsTree]

A person can go years and years believing in someone, trusting that person with our heart, and believing they love us with a love like no other. Every now and then a doubt may surface of this persons authenticity, but we put that thought away believing it is an overactive mind. Then one day we find out the truth was really a lie. That everything we ever thought was, isn't. And everything we thought was an overactive mind, wasn't. It's a hard thing to get over.

You carry on with your life and forget for a while and everything is back like it was. That thing we believed in. Then the reality hits and you're a few inches shorter, your walk is a little slower and your eyes are a little dimmer. You know it will pass like the waves in the ocean do. But sometimes it's a white squall before it passes. It leaves you drained.

I'm looking for my rainbow after this storm of sadness leaves my heart. I know I will be okay because I am made to survive. I just wish I knew how to surf.

[LovelySnow]

I'm so sorry. I don't know exactly what happened though I have a little idea from your other posts. But I feel your words. It shakes you when you learn someone isn't like you thought. It's sad. It's disappointing. And it can be damaging. I'm glad it sounds like you are thinking forward to good things. I hope that you find healing and love. Hugs.