I can't do it

[Nogoodorevil]

I'm a 20yo male, no job, no friends, I drove the only woman I love away because I was abusive, I'm lost, I have nowhere to go from here

[kenster1]

hi have you asked yourself why you became abusive.is it a power thing. does it stem from your childhood.these are just a couple of things you have to ask yourself only then can you move on to being a better partner.you should seek some anger management therapy ask your g.p about it.you can volunteer some where to help you gain some new skills and even meet new friends in the process.your only young but no excuse for being abusive I'm sure later in life you wont make the same mistakes.

[Hidden]

No good

Depression can drive away those who love us, our expectations seem not to be met. We cannot seem to relate to that persons anticipations and the anger and depression we feel can be looked upon as unreasonable, Also sometimes abusive. I can suffer the same on occasions when I lash out at someone who has their needs and expectations. Mental Health can make us very self centred and selfish. The World resolves around us

Part of recovery will need to relate more to those around us, that can take time and only the Patient can understand and relate to other people.

Over the years I have been lucky to be with someone who understands this attitude, although that still does not excuse any negative expressions shown.

Yes you may be ill, understand that and not rub someones needs into the mud. You need to understand there is no excuse, an abusive relationship is no relationship at all. We all need to respect those around us. Life can be very lonely if we fail to show compassion and understanding

BOB

[Hidden]

You have one way to go and that's up.

[RAB888]

Hi

What do you have. Focus on that. Be grateful for what you do have because there's always someone who has it worse.

But seriously, do you want some support with that?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Nogoodorevil and welcome to this supportive forum. You have taken a very big step in talking about your difficulties and reaching out for help. You have received some very helpful replies from other members. Help and support is available and as Kenster1 has suggested, it would be a good idea to ask your GP regarding help to address these difficulties through anger management / counselling. Many areas in the UK have a volunteer bureau where you can discuss volunteer opportunities whilst learning new skills. Volunteer work can sometimes lead to paid employment and is always good for your CV. Things will improve for you. Please visit your GP to receive help and support and let us know on the forum how you are getting on. Please remember that you are not alone.

Thank you and best wishes.

[chbale]

Hi Nogoodorevil,

I really don't want to be patronising but I probably will be so I apologise in advance.

You are 20 years old, and have pushed away the woman you love. Love comes in many different forms, the love you have for your parents and the love they have for you, the love you have for a pet and the love you have for a partner. If you have been abusive in your relationship with your partner then I suspect you weren't in love. I would do anything for my partner to make them happy, an abusive relationship in any form is not healthy.

You were clearly unhappy with her but look deeper into yourself to understand why. She was the wrong person, you're unhappy with the way she looks and acts etc and more deeply is she the wrong gender for what you REALLY want. It's tough to self analyse but you have to be happy in yourself to make things work. I've had partners in the past that weren't right for me for a number of reasons but when you find the one that's right you know it is.

A mental health issue is no barrier to having a loving relationship if you find the right person. It's a mutual understanding of any issues that are going on.

I wish you all the very best in the future. You will find somebody, it might take time, but it will happen.