Counting minutes down

[Ghostonmars]

The last 2 days have been great...have not been feeling down or wanting to harm my self.. but i know nothing lasts for ever i hope it continues like this.....

[DragonTears]

Hey Ghostonmars,

So happy to hear about your two days! great stuff! Now, don't count on luck for this to continue, you know better, you are saying it yourself, nothing lasts forever....well it can, but you can help it continue.Take a deep breath, now that your mind has given you a couple of days off, feels good right? What has been different these two days? explore your mind, any clues? what have you been doing? watching? thinking about? can you find a hint of what's been making it easier these two days? can you replicate it? can you tap into and use the information?

I often feel like when I am feeling better I sabotage it for myself...almost like, this will not last forever and then I make it so, just to weirdly prove myself right....twisted I know, but fairly common too. I started to work on it using stone cold logic (which is like the opposite of an anxious brain overthinking EVERYTHING). Every time I was in a better place I really noted my thoughts and circumstances to find clues, if there were any. I found that I always felt better when I had something to look forward too. Often this was food, I love food. If I was looking for recipes, planning the shop and the plating...i could spend a whole day in a very good place. Also saying no to social activities, by being honest and saying, I don't have the energy today. I then, didn't feel guilty all day for making up excuses, I had been honest and they understood. Also made me feel better.

Try and find your clues so that these better days are not so much a chance, but something you can actually control a little. I really hope your better days continue and you can regain some energy and relax from all the strain. Big Hugs!

[Ghostonmars in reply to DragonTears]

Thank you for kind words ..x

[Ghostonmars in reply to DragonTears]

When i have bad days they are bad, good days come around but not 2 often ..i think for those couple days i understood me .i felt normal like everybody else .(for a brief moment)..i loved me which i have not felt for years..i felt free..do not know why...felt like i won lottery but money finished now..back to square 1 again..but not upset ..glad i experienced it...x

[DragonTears in reply to Ghostonmars]

that's kinda poetic are you diagnosed with anything? what's your current status regarding doctors and support? Are you in any medication to help you with the bad days?

[Ghostonmars in reply to DragonTears]

Suffer from depression and all symptons that go with it...on 45g mitizpane and 20g citralpram..a day ...no support just me....thanks for responding to my post...x

[Depresseddorset]

Excellent advice from dragon tears, just hang on in there. I don't know what resources are available in your locality, here in Dorset we have a range of services available thatyou self refer to. The NHS isn't always good at signposting so you may need to do some research. Also I have found that having a buddy, someone you trust and can confide in really helps. I did have a really good friend who supported me but sadly he is no longer around. I am no longer working but my workplace had a supportive peer support network. My physical health, that triggered my current mental health episode, is the reason that I no longer work so now I have to make the effort to find a new buddy, I am optimistic at the moment.

Take care