Don't understand

[Jorna]

Hi I want to ask a question why is it so hard to forget painful and horrible things that have happened in life I'm trying so hard but I always get stuck I've tried talking to the doctor about it they said they would refer me to a thepist as soon as possible but I got a letter for an appointment in November next year.but I don't think I can carry on it took so much out of me to go to the doctors. I feel like what's the point anymore no one cares I really have no one but u guys every one thinks it's something that is so easy to get better from but it not people don't understand my mental health at all sorry but I so fed up of life.

[JDJ23To28AND1-2]

I tend to forget some bad stuff for a while, but sometimes it comes back, like as if it hasn't benn resolved, and at those times, as A Christian, I Ask God, "Why?", "was it really necessary?" "There's no remedy! Why? ...", "How Do I Make Sure this Does NOT happen again?!" And Sometimes God Reassures Me it's NOT going to happen again, just Trust Him, He Says To Me. ... Other Times, He Says, "Just Give It To Me." So I take the whole tangly mess, And Send it Up To God. And That Helps Me, For That Moment. I also Do 'Grieving Sessions' With God, just by myself And With God, Where I Express And Think About My emotions and sometimes a certain issue pops up. That tends To Make Me Do Better, during The Following Week, If I Do That, Once A Week, For Two Hours. Can't do That on low sleep, though, I just fall asleep. I don't remember if I know Your specific situation or not (I'm not sure if You Shared, or if that Was Someone Else, I'm thinking about), But You're In My Best Thoughts, And I Hope things Get Better For You. It must be awful right now. So I Hope it Gets Better For You.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Jorna. It certainly is not easy to forget painful memories that happened in our past, as sometimes especially if we are feeling low, unwanted memories can have a habit of creeping into our mind. But try not to dwell on them too much. Instead, keep reminding yourself that they are in the past now, and what is important is the present time. You sound at a low point and fed up at the moment. Is there anyone that can help you, listen to you, have a chat with, even go out for a cup of coffee? Sometimes doing something, however small it is can help take our mind off unwanted and dark thoughts, and give us something pleasant to focus on.You mention that you have been given an appointment to see a therapist, but this is a year away. That sounds a very long time and not acceptable when you are in need of support. You could go back to your GP and ask for this to be brought forward, just be honest and say you cannot wait a full year to get help. Alternatively you could ring the therapist or if it is in a hospital you could ring this persons secretary and ask for your appointment to be brought forward. Have you tried keeping a diary or journal, just to have something to look back on over time, which may help you to discover what makes things better or worse for you? Also I wonder have you tried any of the relaxation techniques, such as meditation, yoga, practising mindfulness so that you learn to steer the unpleasant thoughts away, and focus instead on the hear and now? Try for now just to be good to yourself, and try and do something that will help to cheer yourself up....no matter what it is....even listening to some of your favourite music can have a therapeutic and feel good effect. Let us know how you are getting on and hopefully our other members may be able to offer you further support............with very best wishes and take care........

[Hidden in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Hiya, I agree with MAS_Nurse that such a long wait for a therapist is totally unacceptable and something you should discuss with your GP. I am sure that this must contravene acess and waiting time standards. Do you have a family member or a friend, who can act as an advocate for you in trying to get this brought forward? In terms of dealing with bad memories, you are right, they cannot be simply erased, but what I was told was that you try to create good memories to replace them over time. That makes sense to me. People do care about you so please take care of yourself,

[Anonymous-shan]

Memories and feeling get played again and again in our minds and overtime you will react differently to them. At first the feelings of dread, anger, sadness, despair are a natural process that follows a traumatic event. But when you get past those secondary feelings of giving up, you’re memories will continue but the way you think about them, the way you remember them will change. Focusing on now and how you can get past those feelings, surrounding yourself with positivity and keeping yourself busy might be something that helps. I know that this varies from person to person and as you say no one can ever know what is going on in your head but you do and you know what makes you happy and what makes you sad so use that to your advantage.