So confused and sad. Please help.

[kayjay-49]

Hello all! Brand new here. First time I've ever joined an online group. So...I don't know what's going on. It seems my entire family,, has rejected me. This has been going on with family most of my life. I thought that I was supportive, available, and always there for them. They have all pulled away. I honestly do not know what I have done. I've asked,, and just get ghosted. Even my husband is acting distant, and does not include me with his adult daughter and him,, when in the past they always did. Honestly, I think I am pretty insightful, but I don't know what I am missing!! I do not have friends due to family being like this,,, and the friends I have met all seem to just use me,,, or think me or their spouses are flirty!! LOL...it's just become too much!! So hurtful. The saying: If things keep happening, maybe it's you...is ringing in my head. I truly don't know what I did!! To any of them!! It has left me very depressed, and killed my self esteem which used to be healthy. I feel like I have stepped into an alternate reality!! They all came to me for help...now I feel like a ghost. Anyway..so glad I found this group. Sending you all much love and light!!

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello kayjay, welcome to this community. You've taken a brave step into this digital world! I think you find folks here are very supportive, and willingly share from their own experiences. I'm sorry that you are feeling rejected and misunderstood by your nearest and dearest. Have you ever considered trying talking therapies, as these provide not only a safe place to explore you feelings, but also, may help you identify unhelpful repeating thoughts and behaviours, and find strategies to deal with them and manage your feelings. Maybe have a chat with your doctor about local mental health services that often provide these therapies.

What does anyone else here think?

Keep in touch.

Best wishes.

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome

From what you have said I don't feel you have done anything wrong but they are in the wrong

This is your family and the least they could do is tell you what their problem is towards you , how can you try and put something right if people won't tell you what is wrong in the first place !

Your husband you say is also been distant with you , have you sat him down and told him how you are feeling ?

Seems like a very difficult situation as no one is telling you what you have supposed to have done and it would knock anyone self esteem

If it were me I would keep trying starting with my husband to find out what their problem is

Hopefully some others will may have some more advise as they log on but always know even when we don't have all the answers we are good at listening and sometimes getting things of your chest can help

Take Care x

[kayjay-49 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! I am the first to admit I am not perfect. So the fact that no one would say why they are ghosting me is so bizarre. Can't control it so guess time to stop trying. With my husband, I gave asked him..he gets this strange look on his face and sausage is nothing. They gave had "secrets" all through our relationship. Just so done with this stupid, infantile behavior! Just so lost. Thank you so very much for your reply..means so much! <3

[Hidden in reply to kayjay-49]

Hello

I really wish I could help more but if no one will even say what you have suppose to have done it is so difficult and I feel for you

Maybe look at it as it is their problem not yours and I always say what goes around comes around

Try and focus on you , what you need to do to make you feel better and happy as sometimes when we have been people pleasing as we do when we have low self worth which does with anxiety and depression we never end up making others happy but if we do what we need to for us at least we know one person is happy x

[kayjay-49]

So true. ..thank you. I do have to take care of myself. Sucks that is family though. Blood is not thicker than water.

[Hidden]

Hiya, so sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a difficut time. As other posters have indicated, you can't deal properly with an issue unless you are absolutely clear what the issue is. If your family and husband can't, won't or are otherwise unable to articulate their views/feelings, maybe you could use the services of a professional third party such as a family therapist/counsellor to try to get to to the bottom of this and help you all communicate with each other better and move forward. Take care,