Needed to speak to someone

[Vince2]

Looked for this opportunity. Used a site like this before when new to citalopram.

Talking to people who knew by experience rather than education was a massive help.

Bit of a downturn at moment so here I am

[Depresseddorset]

Hi Vince.

I've tried citilopram, fluoxetine and mirtazapine, none worked, my psychiatrist put me on venlafaxine with and improvement. Mirtazapine was added and I stabilised. I now take 225mg venlafaxine and 30mg mirtazapine daily. I'm stable now and trying to work through my issues.

It can take a long time to get the right medication at the right dosage so just stay with it and let your doctor know when things aren't working.

[Vince2 in reply to Depresseddorset]

Hello and thank you for your reply. The more I understand about these issues the more I realise each individual has different medical needs but what helps me massively is contact with others who know from their own experience what I am talking about. Thank you again and I hope things are getting there for you.

[Taz79]

I'm on 40mg of citalopram, is there anything I can help with ?

[Vince2 in reply to Taz79]

Hi Taz79,

Your reply has helped already (see reply above) Citalopram really helped me once I got to right doseage however after a few bad days (now recognise when they are coming so to a degree I just roll with it as while very low, it is not the unknown it used to be).

I now check what has changed. No gym as was in hospital for an opp. Last night I realised my diet for the past month has been poor. I have gone back to fresh salmon, salad and avocado and nuts. Been eating too much sugar and carbs. Blood sugars all to hell. Can be expensive but poor or no food causes massive problems with whole system. Very basic but easily overlooked. Also need to drink more water. Thanks again not only for reply but giving me opportunity to waffle on.......

[Taz79 in reply to Vince2]

At least you can look back and work out what your body needs.

I am not at that point where I see/work out the triggers.

[Vince2 in reply to Taz79]

Worth making some notes to see what you are usually doing and checking any changes

[241951]

Hi Vince

I was asked to go on citolpram year and a half ago glad l never did after reading about them was put on Mirtazapine 30mg daily came of them after 6 months no withdrawal thank god then have after 2 years have come of diazapam l was on 6mg a day then 4mg then 2mg a day and then the last 4months cut them down to a quarter a day then zero was hard at first but l,think l am there now but l always think that this site was the greatest of help to me try the mind app it really helps but always keep in touch with this site when you need someone to talk to l was helped by a person called Agora on this site keep well and do not give up small steps at a time you will get there take care.

[Vince2 in reply to 241951]

As above, I agree totally with the help from the site or rather people like you who recognise the power of support for each other. That we all suffer from similar problems does not mean one solution fits all.....but the support is priceless Thank you

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Vince, welcome to this community. As you have seen already from two of our forum members, that folks here are very supportive and understanding drawing from their own personal experiences. I echo their advice that it can take awhile to get your medication right. There's no one-size-fits-all, our bodies do react differently to medications, and if one doesn't suit, there are many others that might. Keep the dialogue going with your GP/doctor. Never suddenly withdraw from antidepressants, but wean off under medical supervision, otherwise you may experience a rebound and worsening of your symptoms. Bear in mind too, that this is an anonymous, online community and the view expressed here are personal and are not substitute for professional medical advice. But knowing that you are not alone in your experience and feelings can really help. Mental health problems are often invisible conditions, reaching out for help and support takes courage, and you have done that, well done!

Take a look at these links for more information about your medications etc., also, look at our Pinned Posts [right side of screen] at our Free MH guides.

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

beta.nhs.uk/medicines/cital...

You will bounce back! Keep in touch.

Best wishes.

[Vince2 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

I have replied to everyone who contacted me and greatly appreciate the support given and the knowledge passed on. Great help knowing I am not on my own. Thank you.

[Vince2]

Thanks to all for replying.

My situation is life long depression, but no medication until 5 years ago.

Very low at that time. Valium type drug prescribed after 10 min meeting with new doc with very bad immediate outcome I.e. Result drunken like state. However, after nightmare weekend and further appointment with same doc who then took a detailed look into my situation citalopram prescribed at 10mg daily to increase to 20mg.

However, took over 6 weeks to adapt to 10mg dose. Very strong side effects when none expected.

Long story short, over last 4 years after agreement with doc I have tried 40mg, 20mg and most recently 10mg every 2-3 days. This has allowed me to cope and get back into gym, which was my own self medication for many years. (I had read that depression can take the form of constant low mood with periodic very low episodes).

But in the midst of "the Black Dog" excerise is impossible. Help needed to make that first step. I am now almost at that low point but not sure if it is psychological or physical. Energy and mood both very low.

Personal life also a disaster. Ex-wife never forgave me for my first breakdown but stayed in marriage for further 25 years which has, I believe further damaged us both. Actual divorce was and is very painful. No doubt that she considered my depression to be weakness and regularly reminded me of my weaknesses.

Recent major birthday has caused me to reflect on where I am in life vs where I thought I would be at this time in life and that, I believe, is the cause of my present low state.

Thank you, in advance, for reading. Replies welcome as simply writing this has helped me ...........Vince

[Depresseddorset in reply to Vince2]

Hi Vince.

I have lived with depression for most of my life, looking back it started when was in primary school (I am approaching my 65th birthday). Mental illness was brushed under the carpet and misunderstood. My symptoms worsened during adolescence an was prescribed librium in my late teens but I was just drugged up. I never admitted my illness despite self harming and suicidal thoughts and attempts.

My current episode started just over 5 years ago when my heart failed at the same time I contracted chronic fatigue and fybromyalgua. My mood dropped through the floor. During this episode I have learned so much about my illness that I accept it. I struggle to work full time but will soon retire and will begin to reclaim my life and, hopefully my mood will improve and I can start to wean myself off my medication.

I know I will recover but don't know how long it will take, I accept it will take time.

All the best.

[Vince2 in reply to Depresseddorset]

Hi Depressedorset,

I am 60 + and now think that because I have seen it before l better understand what is happening. While this is true it still bites very painfully and I have to force myself to think it through.

Illnesses (which are considered acceptable) like heart problems will impact massively on psychological illnesses because of the amount of energy we use just to deal with the day to day because of our original illness.

Still a taboo issue I am afraid and has been all my life and has undoubtedly been your experience as well.

Thank you for reply

[Circlespin]

It took me a few weeks to adjust to Citalopram. The initial effects are really quite nightmarish (shivers, confusion, depression, severe sleep disruption, appetite disruption) but after a month or so these fade until I barely noticed I am taking it at all. I was suffering psychotic symptoms at the time I started taking it so this probably had something to do with the intensity of the disruption; I remember surviving the first two weeks feeling as though it was doing nothing but making me ill.

After taking it for some months I noticed my depressive phases becoming shorter and less intense. Now they are literally measured in hours before an upturn so I never even get to the suicidal stage any more - and there is no other obvious effect on me physically. Citalopram is an 'activating' anti-depressant insofar as it increases the energy level and desire to be active. It is not recommended for those effected by mania.

My opinion is that this medicine is a magical lifesaver, once you accept the initial side affects.

[Vince2 in reply to Circlespin]

I agree, life saver for me but I have still tried to reduce use...maybe not my best move

[Circlespin in reply to Vince2]

I think if it makes you feel 'normal' then there is no need to change. I personally dread to think what would happen if I stopped taking it. I never want to go back to how I was.

[Chrysanthemum]

Hello Vince.

I know it's been a few days since you posted and it takes me ages to get around to do anything actually but I just wanted to say hi and that I have been on and off citalopram for many years. I have suffered mild depression for a long time but it's got worse as I've got older and this year I've had a pretty bad major depression. I turned 60 this year and I often wonder what the point is in anything anymore.

It seems to me that I only have a slow decline to look forward and working in a home for dementia doesn't help.

I do agree with you regarding the food issue. I've been eating sugary fatty foods and have little energy so the pounds have been piling on this last few months. I've tried to eat healthily but can only last a few days before I revert to type.

Oh dear, I don't mean to sound so negative, it's not all bad, I do have good days.!

Citalopram doesn't help a lot, I find the side effects get me thinking I'd rather not take it and the doctor gives me the feeling that he doesn't care much. It's difficult to keep to the same doctor too. They don't know who I am and they don't read my notes before they see me. It's all so random. Perhaps others have the same findings?

I hope you are coping well and finding the right help.

Sorry if I'm waffling on......it's hard to find anyone to talk to don't you find?

[Vince2 in reply to Chrysanthemum]

Hi Chrysanthemum,Thanks for reply. I find it can be very easy to fall into a loop where you feel bad so you feel bad and it needs a big effort to pull out of it.

Your work place will I think impact on you but there must be some good hearted people there including yourself. I get a lot from the people I work with if only watching them and very often that can give you a laugh. And when the chance comes laugh at yourself.

Citalopram, when it worked for me takes the edge off to help me do above. But to get it to work you need to see the same doctor. Unfortunately my own doctor over the last 5 years has left his practice. He was a relatively young man and had a better understanding of psychological ilnesses than older doctors I have met. He left the practice to reduce his hours at work because ironically he could see his job being too much and potentially damaging him and his family......"doctor heal thy self".

I only say this because since he left I have not seen or talked to a doctor and surprise surprise I have taken a down turn.

The very fact my doctor recognised that he needed change to look after himself tells me/you he understands the whole issue of psychological illness and sadly there are not too many doctors in general practice who have this understanding (albeit that it is recorded that a great number of doctors suffer from depression).

The thing l have learned is when things are bad I try to take some small steps to get better and contact people like you, who understand. Hopefully we can help each other.

Best Vince

[Chrysanthemum in reply to Vince2]

Yes, I definitely agree and it's good to communicate with people that have the same issues.

Thankyou for replying. I'm sure we will help each other out.

One thing I must change is my eating issues. I must stop eating in the evenings! I must consume 400 calories or more every evening! So that's got to stop and also cut down on my portion sizes! It's surprising how the cals mount up. I use eating as a comfort thing so it's difficult to stop. But at the same time if I havnt conquered this yet at my age, I'm feeling that I never will. Hey Ho.......

[Vince2]

Hi Chrysanthemum,

Might be worth looking up information on food nutritional value and time of eating as you need calories but the important issue to look up is blood sugar levels as this can massively affect energy levels and "wellness".

Take care...will check in tomorrow