So, I finally went to the doctors about my mental health. Here's how it went… 😥

[DiZia]

I went to the doctors on Thursday…

This is a HUGE step for me, because it'd be the first time I have ever admitted to somebody in person that I suffer from depression. I've had depression since I was about 12, and I'm now 20 years old. I have acknowledged my depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 16, so as you can see, I've pushed this back for a very long time.

I first told her about other medical conditions I have. Mostly regarding my allergies, then I asked her if she can look through my records for my autism diagnosis.

Then I added, very shyly ”Um, yeah. Um, and I would also want some help from the mental health services, with, ummm… depression…”. That was so difficult for me to say out loud.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the response I had hoped for. Understandably, she was running late and couldn't address all my conditions at once. She was apologetic about it, and told me to promise to set up another appointment for next week, which I'm assuming is to talk about my mental health.

But, that was a one off bout of courage, and I don't know if I want to go back to the doctors. I'm still quite apprehensive about what will happen.

I'm doubtful it'll help me much. Although I have depression, I think many of my negative thoughts are justifiable. I don't have any friends or even acquaintances, I haven't seen most of my family (other than the ones I live with) for years. I'm morbidly obese at 265lbs. I'm 20, yet I have dark under eyes, I'm guessing from sleep deprivation. I have autism and social anxiety. See? Anybody would feel the way I do in this predicament.

I'll probably just go through with it as I have nothing to lose.

[MattBuckland]

Hi DiDi

Wow, so not only is this the first time you have tried to address this issue, but you managed to get to the doctors to seek help. That is a huge achievement and something you should be proud of.

You have another appointment and as you went before you can do it again. To make it easier you could write down a few points to make the short discussion with the doctor as useful as it can be. Try and concentrate on how you are feeling and how this is affecting you rather than thinking further to treatment types. One thing at a time. So go back and have that conversation. If the doctor you are seeing does not have any answers, see another one. If you want to chat about how it went you can come back on here as there is loads of experience with different treatment types.

Being lonely and fat, speaking as someone who is lonely and fat can definitely make you depressed, but depression can make you isolate yourself and comfort eat so what is the cause and what are the symptoms?

The good thing is as hard as it will be you can address all these issues. It is just exactly what I said 'hard'. Sometimes I never know how to go at things, a little of everything all at once or focus on one thing at a time. I still don't know the answer to that one. What I do know is that you have to be kind to yourself celebrate success however small and stay away from the 'f' word (failure).

I don't know how your autism affects you, and maybe someone with more experience can help you there.

You are right you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Try and get som help and also prepare to help yourself as it will need you to want to change. You will slip backwards and have to pick yourself up again but it is time to make a start. Well done for taking the first step, be proud of yourself.

Happy to chat anytime.

Look after yourself, Matt