Physical and mental abuse and sexual abuse and rape

[Tonyscrappydoo]

Hi when I was 6 I was demned i n need ov approved school and I attended school in north devon. I was raped on 6 occasions and sexually asoulted numerousat end ov my teather e occasions at the school . I couldnt start dealing with this as too painful to think about I'm 47 now and its causeing me real bad problems as I've had carving knife put to my throat my flat they tried smashing way In to get me and stole my car it has all hit me at once I'm

[Hidden]

Hi nice to meet you and welcome to the site. You say all this started when you were 6? I presume you have had treatment over the years with meds and/or counselling? Has this helped? Are you having any treatment at the moment?

Of course this is all very painful but you can't keep running and hiding from it forever. Eventually as you have found it rears up again and poisons your current life and future. The only way I know is to face the fear and the pain and start to deal with it by counselling. This isn't an easy option or a quick one but doing nothing isn't an option either, not if you want a future. x

[DMM218 Ambassador]

Hello. You have been let down, hurt and abused in every way possible. I am genuinely sorry for that.

No six year old needs an approved school. You needed proper care and support. You were failed by family, doctors, school and state at this point.

I wish I could change it but often in the past people had no concept of behavioral issues in young kids and punished the child.

What then happened to you was simply the worst. You are a victim of a crimes and someone should be held accountable- both individually and those who managed your care.

That won't change your damage and pain but at least tells you that you matter.

Your life has probably been destroyed so far but there is still help and support.

There are specific therapies for PTSD which can help - rapid eye movement desensitization is one I know of and helps finally process past pain without so much discussion as counseling. Speak to your GP.

You may have an underlying developmental disorder which has never been treated, ADHD, autism,ODD. Please ask GP for advice and help as these conditions can be managed better.

Keep posting as simply talking can help. If you want to discuss matters in detail about your sexual abuse please message me as I have spoken to lots of people about these issues.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Tonyscrappydoo, as DMM218 has suggested, there are specific therapies that can help. I have found a few websites that address these very difficult issues you are dealing with--nspcc.org.uk mind.org.uk supportline.org.uk. Do also speak to your GP who will be able to help you. You are not alone and keep in touch on the forum. Best wishes.

[Hidden]

Hi Tonyscrappydoo, No you're not alone. You were young, vulnerable and not to blame. There was no one there to stand up for that little child. Thats now your job. Stand up for that little child, love him, take care of him, get what ever treatment will make him feel better, look at what has happened to him through his eyes (the eyes of a child - not with your adult eyes) Do never judge him, he was 6. All the very very best, my heart is with you. take care.