Stressed and not happy

[Nicolaclare01]

Hi everyone, I'm completely new to this and my nurse who I saw earlier recommended me to this website.

I'm having a really tough time at work at the moment and it's starting to affect my mood at home and socially, I am constantly feeling drained and feel like I'm not being appreciated enough for all the work I'm currently putting in. Im also starting to feel that it's taking a toll on my health too as I've been suffering from stomach aches which I am convinced is caused by stress.

The only person who really seems to understand is my boyfriend and he has been really supportive despite him having his own problems.

I just want to start feeling like my old bubbly self again, not someone who wakes up every morning with the dread of going to work.

Thanks.

[DMM218]

Hello, welcome to the site. I hope you find it useful.

Lots of people here with lots of different experiences. So hopefully you can look at some other posts and get some helpful responses.

I have had at least one job that made me feel physically ill with stress. Luckily, I moved on and I promised myself that I would never put up with bad treatment at work again.

We all get bad days, but if you are literally sick of your job this is not healthy.

It sounds as if the stress is directly caused by your work. Depending on who you work for they may have an HR dept and specific policies on handling stress etc. No ones job should cause mental ill health. If things are heading that way you may have to speak to someone.

Before you do that I recommend getting some employment law advice either from your trade union, if you have one or CAB. I'm presuming you are in the U.K. These agencies are excellent at dealing with employee issues and the advice and help is free. So make an appointment as they get very busy.

If you have been working for a year then certain rights as an employee are covered.

Once you spoken to someone, then you should be well informed of your rights and tackle your supervisor/employee.

Meantime do not do any additional work unless it's part of your job. You can't be forced to do overtime. If you are asked to do more - just tell them no as you are swamped. Make sure you take your breaks and set to your hours.

If you can offload work to someone else do that to ease your burden.

You may consider taking time off sick. Check what your contract says about sick pay and self certification, my last employer allowed 3 days before requiring a doctors note.

Make an appmt with GP anyway just to get a check up. If you need a sick line a GP will give it to you for stress without too much difficulty.

Maybe your boss is unaware of how much you are doing. A simple chat can sort things out in most cases. It isn't your fault if work is not managed in such a way that you are overloaded. Employers have to ensure the welfare of employees and that includes treatment and work conditions. This is clearly an issue that they are not protecting you from.

As I said, many people will have been through similar. It's always ok to say that you cannot do extra work. Saying no can be hard but it's necessary. From my experience those you said no were often the most respected in the office.

When talking to boss think through what you want to say before hand. Even write it down with examples so that it's very clear to you and them.

I hope this helps. Anything else just ask. And please let us know how you get on.

[Nicolaclare01 in reply to DMM218]

I have spoken to my boss and team leader, but team leader practically made me out to be a liar. Boss was a bit more sympathetic and told me to take it easy more and to not put myself under anymore stress. But team leader basically made me feel small and I feel like I'm back where I was.

[DMM218 in reply to Nicolaclare01]

Ok make notes of these conversations and get an appmt with CAB. You may need to talk to boss again as team leader can't belittle you - it's workplace bullying and you are protected from it by law so if management don't intervene they not doing their job. Have u got HR? They can also stop bullying if complained of. Make notes of any hassle and comments you get as written records are really useful.

[Nicolaclare01]

The pressure trigger is actually off work now, but we are still feeling the pressure and the manager still doesn't want to know, she doesn't like confrontation or drama, especially as I had to help another the other day (she fainted in the post room) due to stress and low blood pressure. I've told the higher up manager that we're all still feeling it and nothing is being done about it.