A Little Thing About Grief

[WhiteAlice]

I am grieving for this lost relationship. In about 2 weeks I'm out of here. Of course, the boyfriend is on his best behavior at the moment. We appear to be happy together. I know it's only small moments. We have much bigger issues. I'll take what love I can get. Anyhow, I know many people here grieve so many different kinds of losses. I saw this quote & I thought it was an excellent explanation.

[ThemysciraDrive]

Nice quote. A very positive way of looking at something negative.

I do think though that there are many aspects to grief. One that's been occurring to me recently is that grief to some extent incorporates fear of change. The loss of something significant in our lives, whatever it is, represents a loss of established stability and security in our lives, a sort of better-the-devil-you-know situation. And the removal of that stability and the encroachment of the unknown is something that our animal instincts will always fear (though our reactions to that fear are often very different).

Perhaps a little cynical, but I've been thinking a lot recently about why people (myself included) have found it very hard to walk away from relationships they know are unhealthy, and that's the conclusion I'd come to. And as I said, it's only one aspect of many tied up in grief anyway.

[WhiteAlice in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

Bingo!! That's me to a "T."

I'm still making this change, though.

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to WhiteAlice]

Happy to hear it, absolutely the way forward

[jennyjolly]

Taking what love you can' get got you .and me..into staying much longer than we should have with abusive partners

Hitler had a good side..loved dogs, no doubt he could be a charmer too at times like they all can

It's the little morsels of love/niceness that they know keeps us hanging on

Thinking they could be like this all the time

O no they can't as they are a bunch of f..k ups.

[WhiteAlice in reply to jennyjolly]

Hitler didn't have a headfull of soft, flowing hair, super broad shoulders, a butt like a freaking apple, or a beautiful Harley...ha! No excuses, though. I know my bf is ill and he needs to recognize it and take care of it. Until then, we cannot have a healthy relationship. So, I must move on.

[jennyjolly in reply to WhiteAlice]

Well golden boy had his attributes alright and hope you enjoyed the good aspects of being with him

But overall he's not much good to you or anyone else by sounds of it

Much better off going through a short time of grieving/pain

Than more upset/abuse over longer period

Best of luck with everything WhiteAlice

[WhiteAlice in reply to jennyjolly]

Thank you, for the support and the perspective. It is hard. I'm determined though!

[Hidden]

Toxic relationships become habit forming and many people cannot let a habit go even when they know in their heart it will never work. Remember there is another person waiting for someone like you, so do not be to hard on yourself.

Good Luck

BOB