What depression takes away

[warren218]

Once again I've made another work related mistake. Thought I'd attached some receipts to an expenses balance sheet but I hadn't. Now I've got to run them up to London. I know that this absent-mindedness and lack of conscientiousness is down to depression. I swore I'd done this but lo and behold they were still in my possession. The things that depression has taken away from me over the years include self-confidence, self-esteem, my capacity for learning and worsening of pre-existing issues. I always have been a bit sieve-headed when it comes to being conscious of things, often misplacing things or forgetting keys, wallets etc but it just seems to be getting a lot worse. Also studying things I feel I'm even repelled by. I think when I had a few bad life events back in 2005 things maybe immediately were affected. I remember doing guitar lessons around that time. I had a sub teacher for one or two lessons. The usual teacher had left some handover notes. It described me as an 'adult learner, but very slow'. That really hurt me. I don't know whether it was I wasn't getting enough practice time at home, or whether I was just slow in the actual lessons. Either way it got to me.

Just really peed off how much confidence I've lost and maybe now I've got to limit my ambitions, because I've obviously got too many problems now.

[Hidden]

Do not be to hard on yourself, we all make errors. I am a very slow learner and to be honest those of us who are like that learn slower, although it sticks and we then we excel. Do not do yourself down we all learn at different speeds, some people learn fast then forget just as quickly.

Give yourself a break, you will make yourself depressed by something that many people do the same as you.

If you feel you need to talk to a GP, do it. Please do not do yourself down. Life is to short

BOB

[warren218 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Bob

[Satsuma]

warren218 You have noticed what has made you low and also has kept you down for a number of years. Now is the time to turn it on its head. You can do bigger and better now and nothing is stopping you only yourself

[warren218 in reply to Satsuma]

Thanks for the encouragement. I know there is a lot of potential but depression/anxiety dampens it all down so much. Will keep going...

[Satsuma in reply to warren218]

It will keep you down. It is a constant battle to keep it from overtaking us

[Celtic27]

Hi warren whilst you are. Having issues. With depression its feasible that the mistakes you making will defo down to this ! I recent had the same problems were. Mine were done to short term loss due to a brain heamorrage 4 years ago. Im very forget full ! Have you asked your doctor for help with this i think its amazing your are able to reach out and ask for help have you asked your hr department if theres anything they can help you. Cope better ! Please take care and get better soon david

[warren218 in reply to Celtic27]

I haven't really spoken to anyone about it, I'm not sure what they can do. The job was just a temp one so I couldn't mention anything there. It just really bothers me and makes me feel rubbish about myself. When I went back to work after having been signed off a few years back for severe depression, I did so with the help of 'Work Solutions' I think, a really helpful guy offered support to get me back in and I took light work to begin with. Part of me wants to do something a bit more challenging now but I keep having these moments which leave me in a lot of doubt about my capabilities. Thanks for all your answers, I'll try and get through it.

[Celtic27]

Hi warren personally think youve got to start concentrating on your health and dont be in any rush. Getting back to work as any progress youve mafe up to now maybe lost regards the help you got off work solutions but do they really know you health history To give you the right help have you tried a staged return to work that way you can pace your self ! I wish you all the best please get back to me if you need to talk take care david