How is everyone this morning?

[Golfer15]

Hope you are all ok. I guess 'ok' is as good as it gets. There seems to be quite a few problems around at the moment. I hope everyone has sorted things out.

Im feeling a bit down this morning. The weather here is dull, grey and wet. Which affects my moods. Im just browsing on the web, looking at silly things. I have no energy to do anything.

Still reeling at being made redundant. I was sort of expecting it but it isnt easy to accept especially as Im now working part time so not expensive to employ. Work has been good purpose to the day which I will miss. I finish at the end of the month.

I am partly relieved about leaving working in school as I have been getting so anxious going into work. My stomach gets churned up and I spend most of the morning on the loo. Sorry to be graphic but Im sure some recognise this symptom. I work in the afternoons so I spend most of the morning getting anxious.

Next week I have been asked to work mornings to help with the testing. Im sure those of you with kids will know what I mean. Im ok with mornings as when I get home at 11am I can relax.

Just doing 9 to 11.

Think I will go and have a coffee now.

Sorry to go on but it helps to write thoughts down. Please share your thoughts as it does help.

Hope you all have a good day.

David

[Hidden]

Hi David

Yes I feel similar to you, a bit down because of the weather which is the same, and without energy. I did far too much moving and lifting of furniture and other things, endlessly up and down from the 2nd floor to the ground floor and now everything aches. I'm due to see the chiropractor in an hour's time and am sitting here hardly able to move! Then after that I have to drive to Manchester (30 miles) then walk to the cinema where I am meeting a friend for lunch and we're watching a film - One Thousand Smiles... or something like that, it's an alternative cinema which has foreign films that are usually really good. Then we are going to a Private View of a new exhibition at a gallery and I have to find where that is, and then I will be driving home again... I don't know how I'm going to cope as I could have done with a quiet day doing nothing in order to recover.

Yes, you must still be shocked at losing your job. It's not easy to find work and having a structure to the days really helps keep depression at bay and gives a sense of purpose so I imagine you will miss it very much. Perhaps in time you will be able to find something less stressful to you, maybe voluntary if not paid? It's interesting that you can manage 9-11am as that's the time I couldn't manage as it takes me until now to wake up!

Enjoy the rest of your day and relax when you can, the sun will come back again and things will brighten up for you I am sure as you are so well motivated to do things.

Take care,

Suexx

[Photogeek in reply to Hidden]

Sue enjoy your trip and cinema too.

Hannah

[Hidden in reply to Photogeek]

Oh that's kind of you! But I had to cancel just this minute as I've been to the chiropractor and she suggests I will suffer for the next day or two after the treatment - and she's right, I can hardly move and am about to ask my husband to apply freeze gel to my rear hips. I can hardly sit and standing is agony so driving and walking around seemed crazy. Never mind, another day... What are you up to today? Sorry if you've already written, I'm feeling a bit dopey too! Suexx

[Golfer15]

Thanks Sue, I dont have much choice about working the hours next week. That is what my boss asked me to do. At least I wont have time in the mornings to get anxious.

Have a good day. I hope the driving is ok. I find driving difficult as my concentration isnt that good.

X

[Hidden in reply to Golfer15]

Yes, I was rolling around on my feet and decided that the addition of seeing the chiropractor and being in more pain was too much so I cancelled. There will always be another time. x

[Photogeek]

Ah David sorry your a bit down. I think the dull overcast weather does not help,

It's like that here too. At least you will have time to look around over Summer

And try and get part time work.

Would it be hard to get work where you live? Treat yourself well today and

Realise we all have days like this. I was like this too and find it hard to

Get going.

Hannah

[Golfer15 in reply to Photogeek]

I will have to get over this anxiety problem before I can think of looking for another job.

Just off to work now . Feeling very anxious. I hate this feeling x

[Binky1]

Hi David,

Sorry to hear of your struggles and just hope you're being easy on yourself

I'm fed up feeling fed up ...if you know what I mean ... have been so lethargic for so long, was to go to a friends for a cuppa this morning and she only lives round the corner and I couldn't even gather the energy to get dressed and get out the front door I keep thinking that tomorrow will be a better day and I'll push myself but then it's easier just to pull the covers over my head again

I'm finding it easier just to stay indoors and not deal with the outside world but I know that's not the best idea as actually going out fills your mind with brighter things but easier said than done

Oooh a cuppa sounds like a plan

Lesley x

[Golfer15 in reply to Binky1]

Thanks and take care. Just off to work. Full of nerves. Oh well, here goes. X

[Binky1]

Hi Hannah and Sue

Hope you both have a nice day and look after yourselves

Lesley x

[Photogeek in reply to Binky1]

Thanks Lesley. X

[bepete]

It must be one of those days today, I feel exactly the same as all of you guys !.

The weather does play a part in my mood .

Its interesting to hear you like to watch foreign films sue, I like those as well.

Some people dismiss, them because of the subtitles but they don't know what they are missing.

My favourite one is cinema paradiso .

pete x

[Hidden in reply to bepete]

Hi Pete, I watched that years ago in London, now I go to the Cornerhouse cinema in Manchester and they have seasons of Spanish, Japanese, French etc and they are always interesting. Most of them are really sensitively made, often quite simple in storyline and sometimes slow moving but always leave me reflecting on life and sometimes beautifully filmed too.x

[Stilltrying_ in reply to bepete]

I adore Cinema Paradiso! One of my favourite films! Also the "Kite Runner" is a great foreign film. Another favourite (Australian) is Rabbit proof fence. I love watching films in French as I adore the language and I like Hindi Bollywood films as well (In small doses!) Gemma x

[bepete in reply to Stilltrying_]

Oh gemma!

Kite runner , what a film ,harrowing and sensitive at the same time film.

PETE X

[Stilltrying_ in reply to bepete]

Did you see Amelie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? Spirited Away (great Japanese animated film) Also Il Postino,(the postman) Life is Beautiful. The English Patient. All favourites of mine. Anyway I guess I'm digressing a bit off the point of the post but sometimes its nice to share "references "isn't it? G

[bepete in reply to Stilltrying_]

Seen most of those gemma .

[cre55y]

Hi David. So sorry to hear you've lost your job. My husband has been in the same situation twice and I can't help thinking that if he was undergoing cancer treatment for example, school would be totally supportive and wouldn't dream of making him redundant due to poor attendance. He has worked as a TA in primary and secondary schools and has just signed up to a supply agency. It's surprising how much work is on offer and if he's havinga bad day he can choose not to work. Is this an option for you?

Hope things pick up soon x

[Golfer15 in reply to cre55y]

Hi, Just got in from work. I work as a TA in a primary school and I cant help thinking that as I have had a few weeks off in the last twelve months due to depression that my head teacher feels Im not a reliable member of staff. Thats why Im being made redundant.

Although my headteacher says that it is nothing to do with my illness and she has been very supportive in allowing me to go part time to help me cope with the illness.

Is your husband on a supply list as a TA. I didnt know that existed. If it operated here on the Isle Of Wight then it would be a good idea for me as I could choose if I worked or not like you said.

Dont think I could claim benefit if I was doing this but I could try the supply work in September and get my benefit reduced. I can work up to 16 hours and still get benefit.

Thanks.

David x

[Photogeek in reply to Golfer15]

Hi David

That sounds like a good idea to sign up as a supply teacher.

Try not to ruminate on your thought that the headmistress thinks

You were not reliable owing to you being Depressed. Depression

For sure does have implications for anyone's career, but I guess

You will never know. The main thing is to try and get work that

Doesn't cause you so much anxiety. Maybe something less

Stressful.

Please look after yourself, and now that I am retired I am so

Glad to have none of that work stress.

Hugs

Hannah

[bepete]

Hi dave,

Didn't you say on another post that you once worked on the ferries ?

Would that not be an option that you could put on the back burner?

Or would it be too much for you ?, I seem to remember you saying that it was stressful

I am absolutely dreading the time I will have to look for another job,, I may have to try something other than what I used to do because of the spinal injuries and the other injuries.

Ive seen my therapist today , and she thinks I am jumping ahead of things a bit ,,,but I cant help but worry.

I live on my own , have a mortgage , I am self employed, and I haven't had money coming in for nearly 6 months now , its frightening!.

Pete.

[Golfer15 in reply to bepete]

Hi Pete

No I dont want to go back to the ferry company. I was in the ticket office and found it very stressful.

I need to sort out my anxiety before I look for another job.

Hope you sort out your problems.

Thanks

David