voices

[shade-of-pale]

what can i do about voices in my head?

[Hidden]

Hi

That is difficult to say as it depends upon what they are saying. Many people hear voices in their head, it is part of us talking to another part of us - when people become psychotic they think it is actually someone (in reality) talking to them and often think it is someone with authority and so feel they have to do what the voices say. If you think that then it is important that you seek help from your local mental health team because that way you and other people will remain safe.

However if you mean you hear voices but know there is no one there then that is not very unusual. Why not have a conversation with the voices, talk with them, better still share what they say here and let us help you to understand what the part of yourself is trying to get the rest of you to think about.

Often in therapy the internal voices lessen, especially if they are critical voices. We can get internal critical voices when we have been criticised but were unable to stand up for ourselves in a healthy assertive way, we do to ourselves, ie criticise ourselves, the way others have criticised us.

What do your voices say? Are they kind to you, do they understand you, or are they critical, or even cruel. Thinking about what they are saying and how that relates to your childhood experiences will help you to make friends with the voices and then they will simply become a part of yourself that is talking to you in order to be your friend.

Another thought is that you might join the Hearing Voices network - often people who hear voices have been thought in the past to be psychotic even when they were not and so had harsh treatment inside psychiatric hospitals - the Network is a supportive group who understand those experiences and write about them in a magazine which you could subscribe to if you wanted to. To find about Hearing Voices you can google and there is lots of other info there as well. You might also join the nearest branch of Mind.

Suex

[Milynda in reply to Hidden]

I agree that any people believe that voices are linked to psychosis. Having been a professional in mental health services, I also know that organic causes such as neurological problems or medication problems should be ruled out.

[Hidden in reply to Milynda]

I must clarify that I am not anti-psychiatry and was not suggesting not to talk to a GP about voices, but to be cautious and aware that not all GPs or psychiatrists view hearing voices benignly. The problem is that once a diagnosis with negative connotations is on medical notes it is impossible to have it removed (Seligman's evidence). As the voices may be benign I was suggesting to use knowledge from cognitive psychology as a nonintrusive approach first unless the voices are causing danger or harm.

In terms of meds my experience with patients has been that although they can prevent the voices and be helpful they also have strong side effects and coming off them can be difficult as the voices can return with greater strength. I was trying to err on the side of caution and not viewing them as a medical condition until more everyday ways of coping had been tried.

My own view is that only the person who says they hear voices can know what they mean by that term and many people with no medical disorder at all hear what they think of as internal voices, particularly if they have had a difficult or traumatic childhood. Making friends with the voices in those circumstances can lessen their impact and lead to their gradual integration into everyday internal thinking.

Sue

[shade-of-pale in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sue

I now make a note of these voices on my phone to remember them.They have progressed by the way. The first time was strange though, for some reason i kept hearing the word 'today' and every sound of quite a low pitch sounded like 'today', for example a car drove past and that happened. Then i noticed the second time sounds were elongated, i was in a meeting and for some strange reason if you were to agree with someone and go 'mmm' or 'hmm' that would continue for longer than it was said. One day i was just on my laptop like i am right now, in the evening and from what i knew it was an old man behind me who said 'wait' in a husky quiet voice? Another time was from someone i dont know, 'Laura i knew it, Laura we're here'. The most recent one was last week i think which was the weirdest because i responded. Someone said 'shall we go in that house?' then i nodded in agreement. Thinking back now im not sure why i nodded considering i was laying in bed and the subject was irrelevant.

I don't know if this helps but my father died when i was young, think i was 4, yes. So i dont remember him, i had some hypnotherapy last year and this lady did some regression with me to go back to when i was younger to try and sort out some of the issues in my unconscious. i did go back, surprisingly, and i heard my dad talk to me, i dont remember what exactly though. I am also only 17

Thank you for your help

Laura

[Hidden in reply to shade-of-pale]

Hi,

Any talking therapy can weaken defences against unconscious memories and in some contexts that can be a good thing - as I know from my own experience working as a patient

and therapist, but regression therapy can be damaging unless your defences against remembering the past were strong enough to begin with and unless the therapy enables the person to work through the experiences and integrate them into conscious understanding. It sounds as though that did not happen with you - how did you come to have regression therapy?! It is unusual on the NHS so perhaps you went privately?

It sounds as though the voices are progressing so I would talk with your GP. It is unlikely that the NHS will be able to offer the kind of therapy that might potentially help you to integrate the experiences so you may find meds meds are the only way of easing the voices in the short term. In the longer term you might consider undertaking psychodynamic therapy privately but only if you see someone who is very experienced and they consider you suitable, also you would probably need longer term therapy, perhaps several years, in order to be able to settle things emotionally so I would not undertake it lightly.

Why not see your GP to see what meds he can offer and see whether the meds can help first.

Suex

[Photogeek in reply to shade-of-pale]

Laura your seventeen and I think you should be honest

With the GP about these voices. Medication at a low level

Could help you and enable you to get on with your life.

From what I read these Voices are getting worse. I would not

Ignore it , because as Sue has said other therapies could

Be damaging at this stage.

Hannah x

[Milynda]

I think you might want to talk to your GP about this one as there are things they can prescribe to help with this. I hope you feel better soon.

[Hidden in reply to Milynda]

Although I agree medics can prescribe meds that help they also tend to think it voices as being linked to schizophrenia and having that on a medical record can lead to stigma and employment problems. Personally I would only ask the GP if the voices seem to make me do things other people don't do and that are dangerous or potentially harmful to others.

[gardengnome]

not sure what the g.p. will say when you see him on friday. ... I was thinking that some of the techniques in Acceptance based therapy would be useful when it came to voices. I am reading "The happiness trap" by Russ Harris at the moment. And he suggests putting our common repetitive thoughts into categories, for example when we (or our voices) are telling us we are maybe stupid, we might say to ourselves , " thank you brain for that "dunce" story" and doing it in a rather light-hearted way, his emphasise is on finding ways to take the punch out of our self-criticism, a couple of other methods he mentions are rephrasing the thoughts that bother us in a comedy voice, or seeing them being acted out by a different character, maybe seeing buggs bunny or homer simpson saying the same things, I guess it is a way to take the sting out of the worst of the self-critical comments,

youtube.com/watch?v=z-wyaP6...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=Z29ptSu...(Not working as expected?)

hope the you tube link works

[gardengnome in reply to gardengnome]

don't think the link worked , first is Demons on the boat - an Acceptance & Commitment Therapy metaphor . And the second is Passengers on a bus. They are two animations showing ACT, which will lead you to more vids about using ACT Noticed this vid too which might give an interesting view.. youtube.com/watch?v=Di3yWJ5...(Not working as expected?) (What if Disorder Was Normal) Anyway goodluck for you appointment

[Hidden in reply to gardengnome]

Hi

The trouble with trying to understand ourselves with issues around regression is that we are unable to because issues around early loss are usually connected to insecurities about basic trust and so an essential part of coming to terms with the unconscious issues is to allow oneself to depend upon the other in a way that is healthy. It sounds as if the experience with the hypnotherapist may have replayed your experience with your father whereby you are left with emotions that you cannot cope with. Rather than trying to help yourself at this point you may find it more helpful if you use meds to control the voices, get on with establishing your life and being able to earn a living, and then, when you have an income, seeing an experienced therapist privately. They would have the skills to understand the complexities of your experiences, particularly your early ones, and think about which treatment would actually be helpful for you.

Suex

[shade-of-pale in reply to Hidden]

yes, thank you, she was private (not sure if she was any good though) im not sure why she did regression with me, i did a lot of sessions with her when i moved out for over 6 months when i was 16. i think going back to an early stage was strange, i found that it confused me and i had no emotion left. i think about his death now and i feel nothing, in a way thats the saddest thing

Laura

[Hidden in reply to shade-of-pale]

Yes I can imagine it must be very sad not to have any emotions about the death of your father - but don't beat yourself up about it - you were a child and you can't expect to have any of the feelings an adult might have in the same circumstances. Do you have any memories at all of your father, do you remember his voice, or presence, or smell, or things he did with you? Sometimes after a loss a long time ago we have to remember the good things in order to be able to feel emotion about their loss. My father left when I was 11 and I have no memory at all of ever having loved him, although I must have and I do know I wanted to win his love although that isn't the same thing.

Do you still see your mum? You say you moved out when you were 16 which suggests things were not ideal at home. I wonder whether your mum has talked much about your father as you were growing up, or whether she found it hard to be reminded and so chose to forget? Sometimes when a parent does not want to remember a child feels they should not want to remember or miss the parent who died and so they forget too.

The more you write, talk and think about your father the more likely it is that in time you will find some emotions, it may be that they are played out with other people, for example you may find that when you attach to a male boyfriend you feel what you might have felt for your father, or if you have another loss you feel the intensity of loss that you were not able to understand and express as a child.

Suex

[shade-of-pale in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sue, thank you for your reply

Sadly i dont know if i have any real memories, probably false ones, i think i remember dropping pyjamas off to him in the hospital, but i dont remember his face or voice, just a grey filing cabinet. Ah well my family life is quite chaotic, my mum met my step dad soon after my fathers death and became dependent on him. i really do not like my step dad he is manipulative, controlling and has made my life miserable since he was classed as 'family'. rules were very strict, bed times at 8:30, phones turned off in the kitchen every night at a certain time, timed showers, jobs to do, certain amounts of food to be eaten and everything was so restricted i just ended up not caring eventually. my mum was eventually 'brain-washed' into his routine and discipline for me and my sisters and she has now become just like him which i find upsetting because i used to be so close to her when i was young. anyway she did not talk about my dad when i was younger because she got upset easily but in a way she did forget him. but i had so many questions to ask, i didnt even find out the real story of his death till i was 16. she referred me to nelsons journey to deal with bereavement issues but that was also a short term relief thing. then after that i moved back home and 6 months later i was kicked out for going out on my first ever valentines date. so that was 2 months ago and im now living with my grandparents who have been so supportive. i havent seen my mum or step dad since i had to leave, my sister (who is 15) might see me once a week and sleepover, and i have only seen my half sister (who is 3) once for about 10 minutes. ive missed my sisters the most i think, also a bit worried because emily, my full sister, who has aspergers and ocd. she used to relate most of her ocd routines around me for some reason, and now im not there i dont know what she does.. so yeah, thats a little bit of whats happening now

Laura

[Hidden in reply to shade-of-pale]

Hi Laura

Thank you for sharing your story with me - that all sounds a bit sad, that your mum changed so much as a result of her relationship with your step-father and also particularly it must be hard for you not seeing your sisters. The one who is 15 seems to want to maintain contact with you so in time you will perhaps become good friends (?) but it must feel difficult not seeing the young one and of course you will miss her, and worry about how she is being affected by growing up in such a controlling environment. Children are resilient but it is sad that she doesn't have you there to care about her as you sound mature and sensible for your age.

You say your half sister has OCD and Aspergers - does she have any support outside the family, from the mental health team or similar? Could you write to her? Depending upon her age she might be able to reply but either way at least she will know you care, but maybe your mum and step-father would not give her the letter...

It is sad that you remember little of your father but there is little anyone can do about that and perhaps in time you may having some feeling memories return, particularly if you marry and have children yourself - at least you will not parent children the way you were brought up!

What else is happening in your life. You must be quite young to be managing alone, do you have friends, work etc - I am sorry if you have written about that elsewhere, I don't have the time now to go back and read all your replies.

Take care and have a good weekend.

Suexx

[shade-of-pale in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sue,

That's fine don't worry about it, I'm open enough about most things, just takes a while to explain it all! Ah yes well it is my full sister who has aspergers and ocd, I don't think my mum wants to take her to the doctors about it but when things got a bit out of hand a few years back she did a session to try and cop with feeling etc because she is quite aggressive but she was probably too young to understand that. So no, she doesn't get any outside help, I don't think she even wants to admit it to herself and no one in the family mentions it.

At the moment I am at college and I study art, textiles, english literature and psychology at A level. I have a job which is a bit embarrassing but I am one of the cleaners at my college. However even though the pay is decent, the hours are hard to do because its 4-5:30 every weekday. Dont get home till 7pm so not alot of time for revision so hoping to get a new job soon.

Laura

[Hidden in reply to shade-of-pale]

Hi Laura

Sorry about your sister, it's sad that she gets little help with it as both Aspergers and OCD can be quite incapacitating. Can you write to her as a sister, just tell her you love her and miss her, etc?

Your subjects are LOVELY and exactly my taste! I did a Psychology degree as a mature student and then went back and did a Fine Art degree, and years ago I LOVED textiles - had a table loom and did all sorts of sewing and craft things - AND my daughter did a literature degree at Cambridge and is now doing her post-doc in Mexico - so all the same subjects.

Why are you embarrassed about being a cleaner at college - if it pays and enables you to study then the people who don't do it are the ones missing out. Good for you for doing whatever job you can get, be proud of yourself. Yes, I can understand what you mean about revision time, both Psychology and literature take a lot of reading and A levels are I think more difficult than degree level study in some ways. What do you hope to do after? Go to Uni? If so, any ideas what you would like to study? I wish I could start again, I finished the art degree four years ago and if I could I would go back and start all the studying again - it's hard work and tiring and there were times when I felt I had had enough of it all, but overall it was great because I felt a sense of achievement and loved the subjects. Do you enjoy studying?

Suexx

[shade-of-pale in reply to Hidden]

Hi

Hmm I would write to her if my family were different, we aren't really the affectionate type. No hugging, no I love you- for some reason it seems all very strange to say that. However making someone a cup of tea is as good as it gets! I've invited her over tonight so i was going to just talk to her about how my doctors appointment went and that might bring on the subject of her and i can say how maybe we can go get help together (she finds it hard to do things by herself).

Ah that sounds lovely what a coincidence! I do love all the subjects, they are hard work. Textiles and art are constant projects, exams in psych and analysing in english.

I'm not sure, but i feel a bit silly because i chose an easy option and its not like a proper job as im not exactly exposed to the public. So thoughts of a new job are slightly nerve racking but i just want to find somewhere im happy.

I would like to go to uni although im not sure what i want to do, maybe interior design? Its something im passionate about. At the moment i know i need to study but i hate it..so i get distracted easily so i should probably get my head down more

Laura x

[allan60]

Not much you can do about voices, I should know been a voice hearer.

I've self harmed to get rid of voices but it only works for a little while then the voices come back again with avengence.