Post traumatic stress caused after a termination..iv had night traumas panic attacks etc put myself in horrific situations that aren't real?

[Lvmyboys]

Iv not realised iv done this up until now iv been suffering this for 2 years and only now I can see what's real I feel crazy to talk about it??why have I put myself through this?

[Jeffju]

You have to remember that at that point in your life you did what you thought was the right thing for you. You can't go back and undo it so be kind and forgive yourself.We all do things in our lives that we deeply regret but we have to live with them and cope with them. I would see your GP and they may be able to arrange some counselling for you so you are able to talk this through with a qualified person. Or they may have some other suggestions for you.

But, please find some help so you are not alone dealing with this. Thinking of you, Julie xx

[Gambit62]

Post Trauamtic Stress isn't something you put yourself through. In something like 1/3 of people there is a circuit in the brain that is prone to short circuiting and getting into a feed back loop when you experience a really bad and stressful incident ... and that is what causes Post Traumatic Stress disorder. It was something that was useful once - in the days when we might be chased by sabre-tooth tigers etc but it leads to all sorts of problems in the society we live in now.

The fact that you have realised that the loop is going on is really good.

Are you seeing any form of medical practitioner at all, eg your GP if you are based in the UK?

[Lvmyboys]

Thanks, I have felt guilty but I had to make the choice because Iv have problems with my womb n had sists and growths at the time, before I found out I had these problems though my partner suggested termination because we had only just had our second son who I was lucky enough after lots of problems to go full term with, I did try counselling and thought I was better but iv not knowingly blamed my partner shoved him out made his life hell to a point he's wanted take his life because he could see I was I'll but I couldn't I seen him in situations were he's wanted Kill himself but for some reason iv thought he wanted to do it to me?? Iv thought he was out to hurt me all this time but seeing things clear now he was only trying to help I just drove him mad I love him bits but I don't no what do

[Hidden]

Hi

It does sound as though the termination was traumatic for you. You say your partner suggested termination because of the problems with having your previous son and I wonder whether that was what you really wanted. You say you made your partner's life hell, it sounds as if you were angry with him and feared he might retaliate and harm you as well as or rather than himself.

I don't know whether you are still with him but if so then you may find seeing someone together at Relate helpful in order to separate out who is doing what to who.

Suexx

[Lvmyboys]

Thanks I have contacted that relate there's a waiting list but yes I think it would be best to go, we are still together but he's in prison as I thought he'd try to harm me and told my mum she rang police and he's been locked up since August iv tyred to explain to police that these situations were there but he's wanted harm himself iv just put myself in his shoes for reasons I cannot explain, I'm due a physiological assessment to understand why as I don't understand it myself the police won't listen, doctor has written me a letter to say iv had PTSD since 2011 and its not something iv said to get out of the situation! I can't believe it's got to this I miss him so much he's told police from begging I'm not well and to see doctor but there just going for a conviction no matter what seems constant bad luck it's my baby's keeping my chin up n smiling but I'm screening inside xxx