totally stupid

[sheffield1978]

i have done something totally stupid as i am out of places to cut i took too many of my antidepressants just hoping that it would quieten the noises in my head. cut your throat dont now how need to get it right the first time jump off a bridge went to find one before and couldnt find one that wasnt near a road

[Hidden]

Oh Sheffield please ring for an ambulance now! You must go to hospital. Is anyone there with you? If so talk to them - tell them what you have done. You need help please get it. We don't want to lose you here you would be missed to much. I know you must be in a very dark place right now but there is hope. You must keep going until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. I did the same thing a few years ago and I am very glad now that I went to hospital. Please please do it now.

Bev x

[sheffield1978 in reply to Hidden]

hi bev i took your advice and called the crisis team who fetched and ambulance the pills sent my heart funny and i had a long think i dont know what came over me but i opened my mouth and managed to tell them what was going on in my head

[Hidden in reply to sheffield1978]

Just seen this Sheffield. I am so glad you called the crisis team. How are things now? Lots of hugs (((((((sheffield)))))))

Love Bev xxxxx

[sheffield1978 in reply to Hidden]

hi bev

didnt want to be rude and not reply a waste of time calling the crisis team last week which is why i havent called them today hope your ok x

[Cmg123]

Call me and I will take you to hospital. Think we are in the same city x

Cmg123

[sheffield1978 in reply to Cmg123]

thanks thats so nice of you x

[Hidden]

Hi

Oh you are struggling again! Do you know what triggered this episode? Take care of yourself if you can, and if you can't then let someone else take care of you.

I'm thinking of you and hope you feel a bit better soon.

Suexxx

[sheffield1978 in reply to Hidden]

no i dont but i was totally upfront with the psychiatrist this morning the lot came out how i see things and have noises in my head so now someone will be coming out to see me every day for the next few weeks xhope your ok x

[Suzie40]

How are you? X

[sheffield1978 in reply to Suzie40]

home from the hospital for a couple of hours still tired and very sore as they thought it would be funny to scrub at my wounds it was thier sick way of keeping me concious i think

[Hidden]

Hi,

Oh, you are having a hard time of it. It sounds as though you are going through the pits and struggling. I'm glad you've been seen by someone and were able to be upfront with them, it's the only way they can begin to understand you.

I can understand the noises - you've been going through a lot of scary and potentially dangerous feelings - were they voices or just noises? You say they are coming out, presumably the CPN. Did they give you meds?

Ooh that must have hurt when they cleaned your wounds, it sounds as if you were partly out of it which isn't surprising, you must have been under a lot of stress feeling suicidal - it sounds as though you were terrified by your own thoughts and feelings and that made you tell them how it was, which is good. They can't solve things for you but they are more likely to be able to help you if you are upfront with them about things, at least that way you and them have the same starting point.

Sleep well if you can, maybe speak tomorrow if you want to. Do you have something to eat and drink, and maybe a teddy or cuddly toy for comfort to sleep with? You need nurturing and a teddy can help, if I lived nearer I would bring you mine. It helps to cry and feel comforted, even by a teddy!

I'm glad you have survived, Take care of yourself now.

Suexxx

[sheffield1978]

i just finally realised i wasnt evry going to just get over it this time and they are some pretty scary voices at times the ploice council and crisis team broke in today while i was at the cemetry i assume they thought i was in trouble. No they wouldnt send me home with medication because what i took needs at least 10 days to clear my bodyplus the temptation would be there i have chucked every tablet in the bin just hope i dont get toothache in the night x

[Holly101 in reply to sheffield1978]

Hi Sheffield, I've only just started posting on this website, and I know you posted this about two weeks ago, but god, I could've posted it myself!

I so know how you feel,i've been there many times before.. the only thing that stopped me was the thought of leaving my family behind, devestated, wondering why, if there was something they could've done.. These are the things that stop me from acting on the thoughts you're having, but believe me, some days I just think f**k it, they'll understand, they'll know i'm at peace now..

But they won't! Your family and loved ones will be left with a void, missing you every day for the rest of their lives.. If you can't do it for yourself (stay alive and keep fighting) do it for those you leave behind and love you.

I hear voices too, and I know how horrible it is too never have any peace and quiet in your head, I don't know if yours are always there, or if they ever go away?

Mines don't,they're always there, and they're nasty, the best I can do is drown them out with music..

Please shefffield honey, keep fighting ,don't give up! Most of the time I don't think I even really want to die, I just want the pain and suffering to stop, just to be at peace, just to stop the noise in my head and the constant fear i'm living in..

But just for today ,it's not an option, I've got to keep going for those who love me, I really, really hope you can do the same... just take it a day at a time, don't think to far ahead, and if you're ever wanting to chat with someone, i'm here, eventhough I've only just joined this forum a few month ago..

Lots of love,Holly101 XX

[sheffield1978 in reply to Holly101]

Hi holly sorry its taken me so long to reply but I have been sectioned ctioned after a near fatal overdose last weekend I wanted to die even as the police were trying to keep me conscious I just thought how peaceful no more voices and I felt happy for the first time in a long time x hope your OK xxxxxx

[Holly101 in reply to sheffield1978]

Oh honey are you ok? Thankgod you're still alive!!

Did somebody find you, what happened? Oh I really feel for you, I know what it's like to just want peace, no more voices, no more noise, no more suffering..

How long did they keep you in for, a week? I'm so glad you're still with us , and thanks for posting straight away to let me know you're ok!

Please don't do that again, I've only just met ye and I don't wanna loose you, and I'm sure there are a LOT of people that would be devastated if you weren't here anymore!

I'm having a bit of a crap day myself, but only slightly, nothing major.

I'm just so glad to hear from you and so glad your ok!

I need you, as we seem to have a lot of things in common, so at least hang about for a while so we can give eachother some support

Good to have you back Sheffield, am sorry to hear what you went through..

Speak soon, lots and lots of love,

Holly Xxx