depression

[velvetdream]

i have suffered depression before but this feels different, last time it was due to work, but this time i just feel like it doesnt matter what i do its never good enough, i cant be bothered doing anything, feel tired, only sleep for an average of 4 hours no matter what time i go to bed, i have no motivation to do anything or the inclination to motivate myself even though i know i will feel better getting motivated.. my relationship has declined and i just want to be on my own even though i know this is only making it worse i just wish i knew what was wrong with me?

[Hidden]

Hi Velvetdream

I think its much easier to accept feeling depressed if you have an idea what is causing it ie bereavement, work problems, relationship problems. I have felt the way you do at times in my life. Sometimes it has gone away on its own fairly quickly, but in the past when it hung around for months on end - I went to see my GP who gave me some anti depressents and sleeping tablets. I can't say that they were a miracle cure, but at least I felt like I was doing something to try to make myself feel better. Now when I am feeling down I try very hard indeed just to look for something nice in life. Even if its just the birds eating the food I've put out for them or appreciating the flowers.

There are lots of people on this site who will understand how you feel. I always say that on this site its not sympathy you get - but empathy - and I think that's much more valuable.

Hope you feel better soon - but please visit your GP if you don't - and keep visiting this website.

[velvetdream in reply to Hidden]

thank you jessie, i know i have to do something but as its not like depression a had before im not sure if it is and i dont want to take up a doctors space for somebody who needs it more than i do, i know motivation is my target but just feel so tired that i cant be bothered, i feel sorry for my husband who is a manic depressive anyway and is dependant on my support but i just cant carry it anymore, hes had 4 strokes in the past and has frontal lobe damage and needs me to be strong for him, but while im holding him im falling down. i dont know whats causing me to feel this way. there is nothing specific i just think its a lot of things that have built up over a period of time that ive tried to cope with for to long coz ive always been a strong person i just feel like i should cope no matter what it is, i dont want to feel week or a failure or let my husband down, but im falling apart, i feel stupid telling my gp just how i feel as it makes me feel useless and worthless. thanks for the feed back xx

[Hidden]

Hi Velvetdream

My 33 year old son has schizophrenia and has good and bad days (even good or bad moments). I recently felt really tired and lacking in motivation and I put it down to the long winter we have just gone through it was like a drip drip effect and I felt a terrible sadness. Maybe it was SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I feel a bit better now the sun is shining.

Is there a Carers Association in your area? I know its sometimes difficult to get to see anyone because of being tied down with the caring aspect, so I sometimes contact them and speak to them on the phone and there is also a worker there who I contact by e-mail. Its good to know there is someone there who cares about me and understands from my point of view.

I did visit my GP about it (but I made it clear to the GP that it was just the caring aspect of my life which was causing me problems) - and the GP wasn't very helpful and just said being a carer was stressful - as if I didn't already know that.

I am not a regular church goer or particularly religious, but I have also recently found an offshoot of a local church in my area, which runs from a shop unit in the shopping precinct. They have drop in mornings for people who are carers and I will be seeing one of their workers on a one to one basis soon for a bit of spiritual support.

I think at the moment you are needing some support with your situation and I hope you are able to find something suitable. You could try contacting Social Services but I don't know how helpful they might be. Carry on using this website because there are people on this website who will be able to offer you emotional support.

Kind Regards