Living with a disability and unsupportive family

[Srg506]

I am originally from Wales, my partner from Lincoln. We met in my home town where too my partner had lived for some 7 years. In September 2021 I had an injury at work slipping a disc causing me a great deal of pain and difficulty in mobility.

I was signed off from work after a short period of time and still in September 2022 remain on long term sick.

In October 2021 my baby boy was born and our family life begins however with my limitations me caring for my son alone is not an easy task. Both my parents have passed on and I have no family locally o ly a couple of close friends so after many discussions and so on I finally agreed to move from my child hood home and all I know to move to Lincoln some 170 miles away to be near my partners family for the support that we need and was promised by them for so long given my condition. After 5 months of living away from home the support hasn't happened, I am pleading with my partner for help because the pain is unbearable, the sleepless nights are draining and being so far away from home is really making an impact on my mental health.

When we ask for help we are told I am here all the time so I should manage on my own or why should we help because I'm here all the time. I don't expect my partners family to help with my son every day of the week but maybe just 1 night week or a few hours in the day just so I can deal with my own issues that get harder every hour of every day.

I am at the point now where I feel like I am worthless, I feel like a mug and I feel like I am failing my son. His care is above and beyond my needs and wants but I also feel that the move was a complete waste of time, effort and money when the family give the excuse that I am here all day why should they do anything.

Can someone please tell me I am looking at this all wrong and my expectations are set way too high or am I right to be in a dark place right now? Of so how the hell do I fix it because I have tried and failed at everything I can think of

[BarrySimpson]

The Social Services Department of your local council might be able to suggest something.

[bowJim]

Hi Srg506,

I read your post, for me you are spelling out your feelings, and excuse me for my assumptions but you seem to be shouting help.

I feel your situation and I would agree it is not easy, I agree you are in need of support, I understand mental health and I feel you are vulnerable, nothing odd about this, you are out of your comfort area and trying to make the best of things, I feel you want the best for your family and this is can be tough when things are not working.

If I was in your position right now, and the benefit of hind sight is what I should have done, not what I did when my life was similar to yours, I would speak to one of the charity help lines, they are confidential, some are better than others, don't be put off it you do'nt hit it off with the first, try another.

You seem to understand you situation,, just need so clarification, bit of guidance, you have said things are not as you wish and despite your best efforts, you are still vulnerable, it is not unnormal to feel increased depression and/or anxiety, If I had my time again, I would speak with your GP, they can be good for signposting. I have suffered with mental health for years and never got help until years later, it did impact me dramatically thougthout my life, and due to my lack of acceptance of my condition and stigma I never got help, for me this was a big mistake, after finally asking for therapy, I have never looked back. Something to think about Your are enough, it is easy to pull yourself down when life is a bit tough and out of cinque.

best wishes.