My Boy

[mum-forever]

My son was 43, he had scoliosis and lordosis and severe learning difficulties, he also had a wicked sense of humour and loved going out in his wheelchair

In 2018 my son went to a & e after vomiting faeces, he was diagnosed with a blockage and given enemas and sent home with a prescription for movicol twice a day and 2 mini enemas a day.

He became bedridden through no apparent reason, after being examined by a Doctor I was told we wouldn’t get an answer to him becoming bedridden because he would need an x-ray and he couldn’t get out of bed to go to the hospital for one.

He began vomiting brown vomit in the early hours of Sunday 14th May

The paramedics said it was blood he was vomiting and took him to a & e, ( carried out in a blue bag ) he was examined and given anti sickness tablets and discharged, he was not alert and looked real ill so I begged them not to send him home as I knew he would continue to be sick.

He was put on a ward and the Doctors said it was blood and most likely a hernia, he was on the ward from Monday 15th till early hours of Sunday 21st May when Doctors suddenly said they were worried about him, they gave him a mobile x-ray, arranged a CT scan and told me his bowel had ruptured and he had sepsis, they said a surgeon would come and speak to me and a Doctor from ICU.

The Doctor from ICU said if he was operated on he would not be able to be ventilated and would only resieve limited care because of his disabilities, I said I would take anything they would offer.

The surgeon told me the antibiotics were not working for the sepsis, he said that if he was to operate chances were he would die during the operation or after and they would not ventilate because of his disabilities so we had no choice but to let him go

Thank you all for your kind words

[Jofisher]

oh god I’m so sorry that’s just awful for your poor son and for you to experience. It seems from your account that your son had been failed by the medical profession and you as a family. So very sad indeed no words

[Lindypops56]

Oh my goodness I am so sorry to hear your story. As a retired NHS health professional I am increasingly concerned by what’s happening currently across the board with patient care. Nobody should be discriminated against because of their disability although that alone may not explain why ITU care was withdrawn. There are many reasons why decisions are made not to continue life support but these should always be fully discussed with the family. I think as parents of learning disabled children some of our worst fears involve this kind of situation. I hope you get some much needed answers

[Clarinet22]

I am so sorry. That sounds awful and is so wrong. You previously mentioned making a complaint. I would certainly consider that but with support of PALS or health watch . You may also need help or counselling for yourself . The hospital should arrange this.I am so sorry that you and your family experienced this.

[Rosetted]

so sorry for your loss, so sad

[Newbeach18]

I am really so sorry for all that you have been through it is so totally heartbreaking. This is a very cruel world that we live in, I can't understand how evil people seem to be fine while good people suffer terrible. Take Care.Bernadette Butler

[Galwaybay2]

There is nothing that can be added except my deepest sympathy. I hope you find a professional you can talk to with as much time as it takes. Maybe contact a hospice near you or look online to find something near you.

[Goggas-mum]

so sorry for your loss - I had a ruptured bowel and sepsis 25 years ago - they kept me in and out of ITU for weeks, sometimes on a ventilator, sometimes going back into surgery, until I was well enough to go home. I hope you get the answers you deserve about why your son didn’t get the same level of treatment- there may be good reasons, but you need to know. I hope in future, memories of your son’s wicked sense of humour will still be able to bring you a smile

[Bally28]

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking for you and your family NHS Medical care is there for all and no one should be discriminated against . Clearly your son was much loved by you. I hope you get the support you need at this difficult time.

[learner01]

Dear Mum-forever

I am so very very sorry to hear about what happened to your son. And I’m very sorry to say that I think your son did not get proper care from the start.

I have a disabled relative who sometimes has bowel problems with faeces not being passed so has been in hospital more than once and treated for it. Doctors know that this sort of thing can lead to what happened to your son if the right care is not provided. 

It sounds as though what happened to him should have been reported by hospital staff to the coroner and investigated.

If you want to it is not too late to ask for his hospital records and an investigation. PALS should help you and there is a charity that helps people and their family members who have suffered as a result of poor care. It’s called Action against Medical Accidents. AvMA.org.uk Their helpline number is 0345 123 2352. Their support and help is free. 

They are on YouTube as well m.youtube.com/channel/UCSBZ...

I hope that you will be able to get answers for your concerns.

Everyone should get the care they need.

[Gran3]

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely son. It is such a shame, that may have to let them in circumstances like his. But it sounds like he had wonderful and loving parents.