Aspergers/Autism

[Sapphire58]

I believe my adult son has struggled all his life with social interactions things have become more apparent as he has gotten older and is coping living on his own how do I know how to help him?

[Eeviee]

hello. Just saw your post and wondered if you meant to write that your son is NOT coping in his own? How old is your son ? What specifically do you want help with ? Does your son think he needs “help”? There may be a local group who can help young people or older who have not been diagnosed. That is probably the first place to look. Contact the national autistic society who might be able to put you in touch with some groups local to you

[Jofisher]

there is a test they can do to find out if he’s Autistic but it could take years unless you pay. There are specialists in this field that do these assessments but they’re not cheap.

[Hidden]

I spoke with a near neighbour recently and discovered that their adult son who is living with them once again has never been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum - but his mother was a registered mental health nurse for many years and so knew the outline of her son's condition.

The son hadn't coped with having his own accommodation along with work and of course social interaction. So I asked his father why they hadn't had their son diagnosed earlier. I can't repeat his answer - but it made me aware of something that I experienced with my mother in law with undiagnosed LD - and of course when I began to document her condition to help her after her husband died - I discovered that her entire family simply believed that she would cope with the support of her family. My mother in law had a moderate learning disability that didn't remove her capacity to understand basic and ordinary social structures - and neither her desire to involve herself in them - including work, marriage and child bearing.

What this exchange with my neighbour reminded me of is that it is not unusual for parents to do there very best to support their children to a model independent life - but to be unable to know just how that will turn out when the need arises and the child (adult) takes the steps to an independent life - something we all value ourselves.

It takes courage to step forward and to ask the question you have asked because to do so is to acknowledge that as parents we may not easily sense the difficulties our children will have (particularly on the autistic spectrum) until they begin to falter independantly.