Caring for yourself while caring for someone else

[CassieMRF]

Caring for someone who is sick, taking on new responsibilities, and worrying about the future can be exhausting at the very least. How has caring for a friend, family member or loved one impacted your life? How has it changed?

[LotusLight]

My husband, Jim, has stage 4 melanoma. I've been caring for him while working full time since he was diagnosed 5 years ago. This has meant giving up all the activities I used to enjoy with the exception of taking walks to the grocery store on the weekend. My time after work is filled with running errands, making dinner for Jim, preparing smoothies for him for the next day, and whatever else may need to be done. Weekends are pretty much the same with the additional of doing domestic chores. I am exhausted and stressed most of the time. This sometimes causes us to fight over little things which I hate. I wish I knew how to tell him in a loving way how tired I get from all of this. I know he realizes it but he does still need to ask me to do many things and I don't want him to feel guilty about it.

[legallygray in reply to LotusLight]

Thank you for your candidness and truthfulness. My husband also has stage 4 melanoma, diagnosed about 3-4 months ago, but no symptoms so far (other than the original scalp tumor which has been removed). Your husband is very fortunate, and I'm sure he knows and appreciates this, as your last sentences indicate. What you're going through is similar to what my dad did for my mom who had breast cancer, and what a good friend did for her husband who had MS. Such a difficult road, and you are a treasure.

[momtyme007]

Last time my husband was sick and I was his caregiver I put back all the weight I lost. I was so stressed, not sure my body and mind are ready for this new diagnosis.