Missing parents

[Pizzacat1]

I suffer from depression as I’ve posted earlier. I actually think suffer is sometimes and understatement.

I live in a rural area having lived here two years ago. I don’t have any friends or relatives in the area. I did want to move near my sister but being retired I couldn’t afford where she and her husband lives.

In a sense being a bit of a distance away can be a good thing. I can’t confide in her as she gets all upset and makes me feel even worse. She doesn’t understand depression and anxiety.

One thing I wish I could do is call up my parents and talk to them. They passed away at 90 and 91 years old. I have a couple blankets my mother crocheted that give me a bit of comfort. (I’ve also previously posted where I wasn’t the best daughter and have the most painful regrets as a result.)

Sure I can talk to them either out loud or in my head but that isn’t the same as hearing them and feeling their love and concern. What I wouldn’t give to see them or talk on the phone with them one last time. 💔

[gajh]

I am so sorry for the loss of your parents. I am sorry they aren't here for you now when you need them.

[Hidden]

hi pizzacat, sorry to hear you lost both of your parents. I moved to a rural area after my husband retired and my parents and sisters are on the east coast and I am on west coast. My mother died suddenly 5 years ago and I still miss our weekly phone calls. My sisters were very nasty to me at her funeral, still unsure why, but I miss their friendship alot. In the last 5 years my arthritis has increased significantly and I cannot fly over 6 hours to visit my dad and sisters. Lately we started talking again on phone. They won’t fly out to see me and I am so afraid I will never see my dad or sisters again. I can relate to your heart breaking situation.

[Lovestoeat4me]

I can completely relate. I've lost both of my parents as well; and, I understand that feeling of regret for past offenses. And the longing of the relationship and closeness. Have you considered a grief support group?

[Gramas]

I'm sorry for the loss of your parents. Its strange how we may have taken them for granted thinking they would always be there and now that they're gone we're just lost. I still have my Mom but she has dementia so she doesn't know she still has me.

[JadeNguyen]

I can relate to how you’re feeling now. My parents got divorce since I was 2. Althought my mother loves me but she has never considered me as an independent person, and never understood me as well. I’m hunger for her love but also afraid of her love. Somtimes I wonder where my dad is, I feel so lonely and hurt, and even grief because I could not offer my mom the love she needs from me.