My depression is so toxic to other they have lost all patience with me. As i get older im becoming less functional. Not taking care of myself. Im venting now because I also suffer from really high anxiety.
I may even be manic at times. I got so anxious and depressed i asked my bro to help get me into a nursing home.
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PeaceNeed
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I'm so sorry, Lonepain. Depression is a horrible affliction. Why do you think a nursing home would be a solution?
I live with a lot of people and find that I hibernate from them. It's hard to be ignored or unseen by people. I almost feel like living alone would be better because then there are no expectations ...
I know the pain that you feel and for a long time I did not think I could ever live a “normal” life
It took years and a desire to get mad at the illness for my life to turn around
I have lived with anxiety and depression since I was a child- I’m in my 50’s now
Have you ever heard the expression
Anger is depression turned outward and depression is anger turned inward
There is hope but you need to dig down deep and let go of others expectations of you and for you
You are accounts to one person alone- YOU
For me- dressing/anxiety is a lifelong illness
It will not be completely cured but is treatable and manageable
there are days that I don’t do so well- but I don’t beat myself up about it and I try again the next day
This illness is my enemy- that will not win
I will not allow it
I have a “plan” that requires - daily sunlight, exercise, a routine, a daily purpose/ work that matters, a support network, meds, and a spiritual connection
taking the first steps are hard, but each one you take, makes the next one less scary
Im very tired. Ive had help sith alot of thongs over the years. Didnt build up internal resources. Everything turned bad starting 6 yrs ago. People i depended on turned on me or moved away.
I just texted my brother saying i wanted to be institutionalized.
I know that’s difficult to say but it might be in your best interest to start there. They could get you on some meds, teach you some coping skills, and you could build a new support system.
Unfortunately sometimes family is not as supportive as we would like
There can be other mentors in your life
Make sure they are giving you good, healthy advice
Little by little, step by step
Let me know if you decide to go
Remember, depression/anxiety is a “demon” of an illness, and you need to be prepared to fight back hard!!!!
I hope you decide to get professional treatment ☀️
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