So. Why live? Like hard reasons.Got no friends, hate dealing with people, large amounts of mental issues, I hate myself and want to hate me even more, I got no close family, I'm more like an ATM for my brother, the people I talk to would probably be better if I didn't and overall I'm just a burden.
I'm heavily externally motivated, I don't enjoy gaming, I just use it as something to fill the boredom.
Now I wake up to go to work, come home, sleep and repeat, so why should I "wake up"?
You sound exactly like me, I hate confrontation of any kind and i shy away from it, its like i get fearful and become a blithering wreck in the process, and like you i have no close family and have nothing to do with my relations, and because we are related i dont have to like them, consequently i lead quite a solitary life, and like you i wonder why i wake up in the morning, I work from home which means i dont even meet anyone to talk to, but i do have 2 small dogs and they are my reason to continue, I also live on the edge of town and no shops nearby, and i end up totally alone for days on end. Its tough.!
I feel your pain and I am having the same hard time with living. I feel like I am a burden.
I am much the same except Im old and dont work anymore.
When asking to people for reasons they tend to reply with imagination or possible solutions, but not reasons.Immagine a path, go to gym, set a goal, Immagine someone cares, think of people who had reasons to live but were in bad situation in sea and they had to swim to island or whatever.
None of them are reasons. Reason to live is gym? Why? So I could pay someone money?
Immagining path. Well how about you Immagine yourself floating in space with no propulsion methods, where there is no path, no dirrection to go, you know at end you'll still die, it's just a matter of time so why not skip it to the end and know the way you'll go out?
It will get better. Based on what? My past is true, that's all I can use for future predictions and extend that to future. That means still no friends no family, nothing to care about etc.
I have experienced suicidal ideation throughout my life and I am now 72. For most of those years I was miserable and could not come up with a reason not to end the pain, except that I always had at least one dog. My love for that dog would be enough, as I couldn't leave it behind. As the years went by, I also developed a spiritual awareness which has evolved. I don't know if that speaks to you at all, but I believe that there is a universal consciousness that is guiding us. I think that we attract according to what we express. When I am able to make an effort to change my thinking toward a belief that I might actually be able to enjoy life more, I find doing things that support that belief come a little easier. Ultimately, though, the idea of kharma is what keeps me here. It is my understanding through researching the topic, that the desire to commit suicide may indicate that you might have done so in a past life. It may also indicate that whatever lesson you are destined to learn must be achieved or your next life will come with a similar set of circumstances and challenges. I can't imagine having to endure another life such as the one I have had, which has been hell! So, I don't know if you can stretch your thinking to the spiritual realm, but this is what has solidified my resolve to let this play out. I think the "lesson" is to love ourselves...that love is at the root of it all. I will just keep working on that.
Laying down on the job of being a better me.
Just looking for a friend that understands. 
just looking for connection - very lonesome and depressed.
Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder: I am proof that there is hope. 
Getting Worse Help me Please 
