I looked at my face

[Raggedy-Ann]

Well I just had a birthday. I decided that this year I am going to take really good care of my skin. I never look at my whole face and I never look at my body- self loathing. I passed a clearance cart at Walmart and found a Microderm abrasion tool. I has different settings and is supposed to help get rid of small wrinkles, brown spots aging stuff. I bought all of the vitamins and have great face creams. I've spent my time since I was 18 taking care of my skin, stay out of the sun, drink lots of liquids- self care. The abrasion thing has a bunch of tiny needles that scratch off the top layers of skin . It hurts. Now I have been scratch some spots on my body raw. I feel ugly and the pain feels like I deserve it. I don't feel relief from my depression. I am starting to literally pick on myself.

[gajh]

You said "I decided that this year I am going to take really good care of my skin." That was a really good decision to make. Now you need to follow through on it. You don't deserve to be feeling the way you are feeling. I am sorry you are suffering. Do you enjoy music or a good tv show or movie? Can you try to do something good for yourself to distract you from all of these negative thoughts? I hope you are feeling a little bit better since you posted this.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to gajh]

Well... I went to get a covid booster and ended up catching covid in the waiting room. I was dumb. I had my mask on before I went but was struggling to breathe...asthema, so I took it off before I went inside. yup

[gajh in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I am so sorry you got covid!!

[Ellamaye]

I'm guessing you could do a number of physical things but your issues lie deeper so the physical stuff won't help till you deal with that