It's a very long time since my last post - I have submarined (is that a word?) a bit, reading some lovely posts and stories but not contributing anything as my running and other things were going in the wrong direction and didn't necessarily want to post about it (a sort of coping strategy albeit maybe a rubbish one 
).
So what's happened? The first thing is accepting that situation and just keeping on keeping on - both running and other stuff. On the running side is the difficult thing of not worrying about time or performance or whatever - but slowing down, enjoying the experience and not stopping. In amongst that is the physical effects of long-term cancer meds that mean I get nasty episodes interfering with heart rate and less glamorous body functions many times a day. If these happen on a run its both debilitating and and awkward. It's been damaging in terms of confidence. In the two 10k runs done in the past year such problems intervened and I've come back saying from the "that's it - I'm not going to keep on trying".
The thing about running is that it's so good for me; physically, mentally, and just saying "wow! I can run! Yay!". That's so valuable and not to be lost. I also want to run longer and further. Time therefore to re-educate and slow down the running style - so when the old ticker starts pounding in the chest and I start wandering across the road (I joke not) i'm in a better position to cope. It turns out that running slower is quite hard, I get skippier (and as my handle suggests I am somewhat skippy already) which means joints hurt a little more (that feels so not fair - slower and hurtier!) but something to adapt to I expect.
The other thing is to keep extending - which is where this race report (yes, it IS a race report - of sorts) comes in. It seemed to time to just go for it and do something a bit longer in this case a 10 miler. And concentrate on the keeping going.
So, the Yorkshire 10 miles (organised by the excellent Run For All campaign) was round a bit of York and out into the countryside and back. I'm not expecting to run the whole way but hope for non-stop to 8k and maybe a bit further and then see. It had been a poor night's sleep (episodes) and already on the start line things were going a bit crap body-wise (so, I'm going a bit "oh, bum, not again" to myself at this point.). Eventually we start off with a trundle down into York centre. I'd forgotten the juxtaposition of the twee, the magnificence (the Minster) and tawdry. Generous crowds. Pace-wise, I've avoided getting carried away and despite things it all feels sustainable. Road surfaces not as good as I thought they would be - despite the general flatness it's fairly uncomfortable in places. And so it goes. Mile markers (the conversion to Km keeps my brain busy) go past and then it's 5 miles non-stop (woo!), and then finally at just after 11k it's all catching up with me (or maybe I'm just mentally tired of saying "keep going") it's time to go walk-run. Last few miles are through some gorgeous villages. And so it goes to the end. Get bag, find the disabled toilet and sort myself out. Get changed and warm up a bit. Yay! a 10miles bit of bling ... we like bling 
Just over two hours but pleased to have got out and a) done so much non-stop (that's the furthest non-stop in a long time), b) got a longer distance, and c) conquered a few demons - I can contemplate going further again, which is just bloody marvellous.
Happy running everyone.
10 miler done
