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Mum needs persuading!

Hi all

Lately my mum has been getting pain in her side. I've asked her what she plans on doing about it i.e seeing a doctor but she shrugs it off.

Its seems that any type of pain she is going through she is ignoring it because she thinks of herself as a 'pain' to the doctors. I explain to her that that's their job but she just doesn't want to be a nuisance. How can I persuade her into getting help when she doesn't want to?

6 Replies

When you have a chronic condition you do get worried about the way people re-act to you - your family, friends and doctor especially. Sit down and talk with your mum. Express your concerns and tell her you are worried. Let her know you understand how she feels and try and get her to write down what she wants to say to the Doctor first.

Lots of times when we go to the Dr we forget half what we want to say and that contributes to the feeling that the Dr is only getting half the message. Offer also to go with her and act as an advocate.


Thank you for your response & thank you for your advice. I will talk to her :)


Hi Beth

Do you think your mum may be depressed? This may be why she doesn't want to go to the dr's. She may also be saying she doesn't want to be a pain as she is scared to know what it is. Try very gentle encouragement and offer to go with her-if she wants you to. I do agree with Davros, it is worth writing points down you want to say as it is easy to forget. Have you ever thought of going to speak to your GP for extra support for yourself. Take care & Good Luck x


Thank you for your response :)

I can see where you are coming from suggesting depression but me and my dad both suffer from this but my mum does not seem to be the same as us both. I will definately offer to go with her around work times :) I think she'll like that kind of support.

Thanks again Loopy-lou xxx


My family and friends are always telling me to go the Dr.s but like you mum I think of myself as a pain the reason for this is every time I get an appointment I'm feeling much better and I can move the part of the body that's been painful keeping me awake and for couple of days. Then when I go there he says there's not much he can do, and that he can't put me on anything stronger because I'm not "bad enough". . . . and the one question he keeps asking me is are you "depressed", Well No I'm in pain which is depressing me but I'm not depressed.


This sounds exactly like my mum - that the pain seems to disappear in time for her appointments. It all sounds very frustrating for you :/ It's a shame that there aren't many doctors with a great knowledge of Lupus. There should be some sort of mild pain relief that you can just take when you feel a flare up coming?

I wish you all the best xx


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