In a sexual relstionship with someone who has Lupus type SLE.

[Tameeka723]

How do i maintain a healthy sexual relationship with someone who has Lupus.

At times frustrated how do i treat person. Feel like have to be careful delicate with him. I cannot be in control and neither can he. Treating him very delicately intimacy problems sometimes communication barrier. Anyone advice please

[MusicalFurbaby]

Hi Tameeka, with any relationship or sexual issue I find communication is the key. Otherwise it’s hard to know what is difficult or painful for the other person. And because lupus is a fluctuating disease, their symptoms might vary from day to day.

Can you tell us any more about the communication barrier you are experiencing? There are plenty of people on this forum who will be glad to help, if we know a little more about what’s going on.

[Hamptons]

It is possible to have a good sexual relationship but it may be different. Ironically, I have found my relationship is more intimate as the sex is less acrobatics and more intuitive and intimate.

What pain issues does your partner have? How could they impact positions an d stamina? I have back problems, achey hips and knees so we have to do many positions lying down so turning them 45 degrees. I get tired so he may have to do some of the hard work.

It is about communication. Your partner may not feel sexy- having Lupus kinda sucks the sexy out of you, what with the red rashes, joints of a ninety year old. You feel useless and sometimes struggle to believe any one could find you attractive. Your partner may have lost some confidence. Let them know you find them sexy and want to be intimate and then have fun working out how to do it. You may have to take some control but do it in a fun way.

We may have Lupus but we still want to connect