Hi everyone, just wanted to give you all an update on things going well, for a change!
As most of you would know, I’ve had a terrible year with severe breathlessness that never got diagnosed, and which resulted in me taking 6 months off work. The good news is that I have now returned to work, back to my normal hours, and this week was approved to return to ‘pre-injury duties’! I’m working 2 days in the office and 2 at home, soon to increase to 3 office days (and still working 1 day at home).
The breathlessness is mostly resolved, I can speak without problems and am returning to singing too. I still find I struggle when I am carrying heavy things, when I am walking in the wind, or when I get another cold or flu. I get real breathless for a couple of days, and then it resolves. Here’s to hoping it continues to resolve and I don’t have another relapse. I can’t afford 6 months off work every time I get a cold!
The weird thing is, I feel like I’m still grieving what happened this year. I had to cancel so many things, missed out on a lot of cool new things at work (and am now playing catch-up), and faced some truly terrifying possibilities eg. never being able to work again. Sometimes I still feel really sad or randomly burst into tears. Can anyone relate? Feels like I’m still processing this massive illness, and an absence of diagnosis probably doesn’t help! Thank you, you’ve all been truly wonderful this year. ❤️❤️
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MusicalFurbaby
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I was in a great deal of pain from RA. When they gave my abatacept (the biologic) the pain was hugely reduced and my energy levels improved. But that meant I had to come to terms with the fact that that was as good as it was ever going to get, there was no potential for future improvements, whereas when I had all the pain there was the hope of being prescribed the biologic. I hope that makes sense.
When I went to counselling the lady said that a lot of people struggle when they stop being ill or improve, because you have to process everything you have gone through and in our case accept that the magical cure didn't absolutely fix everything. So in answer to your question, no you are not weird for feeling like you do. According to the counsellor lady I saw, it's quite common.
Congratulations! Such a great achievement!👏👏🎉We often associate grieving with a loss of a family member 😓 However, from my own perspective I have been grieving for my job all year. Long term sick since February. It has taken a while but learning to accept is the answer. 🌻
I have been with my employer for 35 years and to suddenly leave my work community was a huge shock.
But thanks to the ongoing excellent NHS care I am receiving I have realised finding a health life balance is the best thing for my body.
Yes, I agree with you, it is hard and you may have days when you feel the loss but with time you will progress. Acknowledging the situation really helps me and I say "ok let's do something positive and put my best foot forward". Might not work for you but it helps me.🤞
Give yourself a special back to work treat you have done so well!👏👏👏
PositiveT thanks for sharing…it must have been such a shock to leave a long-term job like that. It was a shock for me to take 6 months off after what seemed like a run-of-the-mill cold at the beginning…I really like the idea of a back-to-work treat, that works for me! ☺️
It is good to hear some good news and there is actually a light at the end of the tunnel for some to look forward to. Here too my wife is much better and can manage to get around the house and do most of her pre - hospital tasks again. We can even manage a weekly trip to Tesco/Morrisons!!
I don't know whether you can remember that she was discharged with no diagnosis after 6 weeks in hospital being fed through a tube etc. The consultant made it clear that she was then at deaths door, advising that we did not readmit her and to get a DNR form made out etc. Thankfully, we eventually found that it was Lupus (SLE,) and that is now in the past and we are getting to the stage where we can appreciate the improvements made but accept that things are unlikely to ever get back to her pre- flare days.
I can very much appreciate your ref to grieving. We still frequently talk about her worst moments. It is like a stake in the ground where things changed for both of us that we will never forget -- especially the battle we had with the medics (both GPs and consultants) to get some action but we did succeed eventually.
I hope this story will reinforce your good news message and that you just have to perceiver and with luck and a fair wind you will reach a reasonable standard of life and health. At least I really hope that that is the future for most of us.
Thanks BMS…how scary to be told your wife was at death’s door…I can only imagine…so glad she is past the worst of that now. Yes, there are moments we will never forget…I don’t think I’ll ever forget being 5 months in to my illness and thinking, ‘This is it. This is my life now.’ So thankful to my God that was not the case…at least, not yet…hope your wife continues in this good vein of health. ☺️
Congratulations on your progress MF 🤗🎉May u feel stronger day by day.I think that we are constantly grieving in some way shape or form..on a daily basis as well as overall. I can totally relate to random sadness n crying..it can come from nowhere n it's overwhelming sometimes. However I have read that crying n laughing release the same hormones. We always feel good after a good cry ..same with laughter so I think it's all healing.
You've also actually lost your fur baby so it's natural that you're grieving 🌈
Remember to take it easy-ish..if u feel things starting to slip..pull back n rest when u need to. Listen to your body n you'll be singing full throttle before long. Well done!! 💜🌈😽😽Xx
Thanks KrazyKat, it’s good to know there is someone who understands…it’s weird that I still feel like crying even though I’m now back at work. One would think I’d be doing cartwheels, but I think it’s the events of the past year still catching up with me. It’s like a delayed effect…thanks for remembering my furbaby too, thankfully we now have a new rescue cat who is filling our days with smiles and quiet joy and outright laughter. I’m trying to take it easyish as you say, there are days when I lapse, and it takes me a few days to get back to normal again. Thankfully they are happening less and less frequently ☺️
I see where you are coming from with random bursting into tears! I am still virtually shielding, nobody comes into my house and I very rarely go out anywhere, I feel I am grieving in a way of things I have and still missing for nearly 3 years, I burst into tears nearly every day xx
Right? There’s so much we miss out on when we are living in lockdown. I had to cancel so many things this year, and there were things I wanted to plan that I just gave away. Not to mention workplace innovations that I could have been part of, but now I am playing catch-up, feeling like the new kid on the block, even though I am senior…it’s all a bit of a reminder of how badly my body went wrong this year.
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