I have Lupus and osteoarthritis along with a few other problems. Well lately i have not been coping well. My depression and anxiety have resurfaced. Just found out that I have been self harming. Mainly by pulling my hair sometimes i pull so hard some come out. Hitting myself with objects. (Dont ask🤔). I also havent take my meds often and its all coming to the point I just cant cope anymore. Pain 24/7. I am back on my meds now though have just started to get some help. But now the dr has put me on the sick for 2 weeks. Which makes me feel bad. As i feel like im letting them down. I only wanted some pain meds and ended up breaking down. I'm also waiting on knee surgery too. Not sure if all this pain is down to a flare up or not. Sorry for the whinge.
Not been coping : I have Lupus and osteoarthritis... - LUPUS UK
Not been coping
You urgently need to see someone in mental health dept for your self harming problems. You need to be in therapy and on meds to control these issues. Please don’t delay seeking help ASAP.
Best wishes. Abundant blessings.
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Thank you i have had my assessment just waiting for my 1st appt now x
I can't hear a whinge here, just a description of a hard time. If you don't have a consultant psychiatrist, try asking your GP for a referral, or extra help with the depression. If you do have a consultant ask to see them soon. I'm not sure which meds you have stopped taking. If they are for the depression and anxiety, it's a bad idea to stop suddenly. You know the self harming you describe is not good for you and won't help. I'm probably telling you everything you know anyway.
I'm pretty sure most of us here have had very long spells of pain and feeling down and useless. That isn't letting anybody down. Beating yourself up about it can be. If there is something beyond your abilities at the moment, that doesn't mean it won't improve.
Sorry this is long winded. In essence, you are describing something that many of us feel at one time or another. Please don't be hard on yourself by calling it a whinge!
Thank you im just waiting now for my 1st appt for my depression and anxiety. The gp i saw yday was brilliant. She has told me that i need to focus more on myself. Not to feel guilty that ive gone sick from work which i do. My husband is great he works away through the week comes home on a weekend never moans picks up the pieces. I know he doesn't understand. But he supports me.
I' m so glad to hear all this! You've got a keeper there!
Puppy therapy sounds perfect! I have someone who borrows my dog when she very anxious x
Awwww Lupi 😊🌸🌿🦋
How wonderful you are to lend your fur baby for puppy therapy.
Squidgy hugs 🤗 and xxxxxx for your compassion.
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Hi teaparty ,
You have absolutely no need to apologise for sharing with us. We're here to listen and offer support.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been experiencing depression and anxiety. Has your doctor offered any additional support for this apart from signing you off for two weeks? Perhaps they could discuss anti-depressant medication or a referral to a counselling or psychotherapy service? If you would like more information and advice about this and the support services that are available, please take a look at our article here - lupusuk.org.uk/coping-with-...
May I ask, did you stop your medication as a way of harming yourself or was there another reason?
If you would like some more information and advice about pain management in lupus, please take a look at our article here - lupusuk.org.uk/pain-managem...
I'm getting help through mind. They think its due to self harm that i stopped my meds. I will still read through the links. My gp has suggested antidepressant help which i will be accepting their help. Thank you
I'm glad to hear that you are getting some support and I hope you are now on the road to recovery. Keep us updated with how you are getting on.
Hello teaparty
That's not a whinge, and you've nothing to apologise for 
All those you mention are significant health problems and definitely nothing to feel at all guilty or inadequate about. They need a lot of time and energy to sort out. Sounds like you've made a good start towards getting back on track with your meds and other support. I'm guessing you have some kind of professional support for your anxiety and depression - if not, I hope you can access some soon, as it's very difficult to look after our physical illnesses when we are feeling overwhelmed by emotional/mental health troubles.
One thing that I found helpful when I was having to take time off work was trying to keep to a regular daily routine. Now that I have taken ill health retirement, I still try to do this, and always try to have small projects on the go so that each day I have some goals and things to focus on apart from my worries and health problems. Today, I feel like $%^*, so apart from trying to stick to my usual daily schedule of getting up and fixing smoething to eat, my goals are just to read 50 pages of a book, do some googling on behalf of my daughter and write a couple of thank you cards. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open to read that much, though! It's tough sometimes, isn't it? x
EDIT: After writing that, I realise that I better drop the 'thank you cards' goal. Not realistic 
Yes im getting some help with my depression and anxiety. Im trying to focus on doing small amounts of a nutrition and health course im doing at the moment as i thought this would help with my bad food habits and help at work. My friends dog has just had puppies 3 weeks ago and ive been visiting for some puppy therapy which helps me a lot. I will be eventually bringing one home. I will take on board what you have said and thank you for the advice x
Hello Teaparty
Thank you for sharing your story this has given me courage to tell you mine. I have been self harming as well. I burn myself with am incense stick. I am still on my meds but I feel a burden on everyone. I understand the self harm as for that one second you feel in control of the pain and secondly you get to know what pain is as your always in pain so you don't know what's normal. Probably doesn't make sense! but I just wanted to say that I totally understand your frustration and admire your strength. I pray for your wellness and thanks for sharing I know I am not alone.
Hi LupieLady! I'm not doing so well today but just wanted to say keeping posting, this forum is a life-changer, and seek out the support that will work for you, puppies, horses, gardening, counselling, solo flying....🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 xxx
Thank you ... I do find it difficult to post but I love to read everyone else's ... just takes me away from my own demons.
Hi Lupielady, im glad that i did. The support i have gotten from people is amazing. I know i not alone. I finally found the strength to talk and try and get some help. Keep talking lovely. Thank you for taking time out to speak to me. As well as finding the courage to tell us your story x
Ohhh dear LupieLady45
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I’m sooo very sorry to hear about your self harming.
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Hun please don’t feel you’re a burden because you’re sick.
Question: Whenever you have taken care of others did you ever feel they were a burden to you??? Did you ever feel hatred resentment or vengeful because they needed caring after and were helpless unable to prevent the illness????? No you’re not that person!!!
Did you have compassion and love coming to their aid???
Do any of the questions pull at your heartstrings ???
This is the way your caregivers are feeling about you.
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When we’re sick with a long term condition (s) it isn’t our fault but it is a test to how much you love your loved ones.
Do you love them enough to consider your illness your enemy and scream at it...call out its name and let it know you’re NOT going to let it destroy you by self harming?? You tell it that you’re not giving in /up to it because you’re fighting back. Whatever you CAN do is a punch back against it. It won’t win when you do anything that it tries to rob you of or STOP doing anything that hurts you.
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If self harming is still an issue...choose a specific object say a wood statue...place your enemies name on it. Whenever burning incense sticks comes to mind take it and burn your illness statue while yelling/telling it all your emotions about it while you burn your illness statue your enemy.
✉️🖊✉️🖊✉️🖊✉️🖊
You can also do letter therapy. I’ve done this for years. I’ve written letters to my abusers. I pour out my emotions describing every hurtful/torturing thing they did to me. I keep those letters stored safely away until I’m recovered enough emotionally to let that go and tear them up recycle the much treasured trees used for the paper.
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There is always something else we can substitute to take out our emotions on that won’t hurt ourselves or others but releases those suppressed urges.
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You are not useless or a burden. You’re ill. You deserve compassionate care to love 💕 and be loved. You are special a gift to those who know and love you.
🌈💦🌈💦🌈💦🌈💦
I consider everyone a brother or sister. You’re my sister and I send you my love and best wishes for all good things in life.
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I just prayed for you and your family.
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Keep taking your meds and if they aren’t helping you feel better about yourself then you should talk with your doctor about trying new ones until you find the one that works.
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Take care and abundant blessings dear.
Squidgy hugs 🤗.
Love 💗 and 😘😘😘
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I am so sorry you are feeling so bad teaparty. 😔 Its the WORST how our physical health impacts so significantly on our mental health and makes us feel incredibly low. Please know that you are not alone and we are all here for you in any way we can be. Sending you a big squishy hug xxxx
Hello teaparty - I've only just seen your post. I'm off work today as have infection and in a flare.. but wanted to post to you.. I think every lovely one above has said everything I would...but wanted to send my warm thoughts and add my own hugs to you.. Was so very sad to read your post.. Please - always reach out when you feel even the chance you might be wobbling... you aren't alone.. as you can see by the wonderful posts here. Together we can kick bad times arse! I wanted to say, I have a very large furry extremely loving cat who adores me (it's mutual.. er, unless he's scratching the sofa to bits!). I never thought I'd end up with a puss of my own... and I'm 55.5 now (yikes). I got him from the RSPCA about 4.5yrs ago after a break up and the fatigue/illness/pain stuff really messing with my life..(but wasn't diagnosed then so didn't know what the hell was going on), and all I will say is... he saved me. At my very lowest ebb I had to get up and feed him.. Having an animal to love and care for (as long as it's not too much effort as that's the last thing we need ie two mile walks twice a day come rain or shine) has been utterly essential. They so give it back, unconditionally. Even a couple of fish would be something (less hugs though ;). I hope you get something to love (other than your hubby!). Keep talking on here... OK? Good. Big (gentle) hug, D x
Hi all just thought id let you know ive got my 1st counselling appt on the 1st oct x
Hi just thought I'd let you know still here still struggling. But had my 1st counselling session yesterday. It was hard. Felt like i waffled. Felt so drained after. Going back next week.
Hi teaparty ,
Thank you for updating us with how you are getting on. I'm really glad to hear that you are having counselling. I expect it probably will be quite draining but hopefully it will help you soon. Good luck with the next session. Keep us updated with how you are getting on and let us know if you need anything.
Thank you i really appreciate that fact that people have just listened.
Anyone else coping with SLE/MCTD "girdle" pain?
Not sure if I’m doing the right thing
Upset and Frustrated!!
Feel so alone. 
