feeling inadequate

[kfmeme]

I have recently been diagnosed with Lupus. I have to say it makes me so ANGRY. I am not one to let anything slow me down. This has truly kicked me in the stomach. I feel like I am loosing my mind. I cannot concentrate let alone finish daily chores. I lost my job of 10 years I have never been fired from anything.... what is happening to me????

[LupusKaren]

Hi Kf, what you are feeling is absolutely entirely normal, anger particularly is common, and it is all part of the grieving process and coming to terms with your diagnosis and what it entails. I too lost my job to my health status, it was the biggest smack in the face at the time, but realistically, looking back now, I could not have continued. The anger at my body for daring to afflict me with this disease was at times overwhelming, but I made the decision to learn as much as I could about my Lupus, and put together a plan for day to day coping, it has served me well.

There is no quick fix to how you are feeling, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is try to find acceptance, this does not mean giving in, but acceptance will bring with it less stress which feeds Lupus, and make sure your medical team listen, and work with you, to enable you to function, and have a good, albeit different life going forward. Family will need to be involved, so they can better understand, so they can help.

When you are ready, Lupus UK have some outstanding publications, which you might like to read through.

To close, you are not alone, in this group there are some truly wonderful people, we may not post prolifically, as we are often unwell ourselves, I do come on every day, and just had to respond to you.

Take care

lupusuk.org.uk/publications/

[kfmeme in reply to LupusKaren]

thank you for responding. I just came from the doctor today and found out I have to have a liver biopsy they found something on my liver... along with a node in my lung. It just keeps getting better.

[whisperit]

Yes, I too have list of reasons to be absolutely fuming about this whole situation. I guess anger is useful sometimes - a motivator for change, say - and bad sometimes - especially when it causes one to hurt oneself or another person. I'll hold a virtual pillow when you have the energy to beat the stuffing out of it, and give you a virtual hug when it turns to tears. I got no answers though x

[kfmeme in reply to whisperit]

thank you for replying. I am just beside myself.

[Lili18 in reply to kfmeme]

Dear kfmeme

Hang in there. It will get better. ♥️♥️♥️

[Melbourne-Girl]

I can not suggest anything in addition to what others have said. Just know that you are certainly not alone and I wish you the best outcome possible with your liver and lungs,

Thinking of you

Melbourne Girl

🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

[kfmeme in reply to Melbourne-Girl]

thank you.

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK]

Hi kfmeme ,

It is understandable to feel this way following a diagnosis of lupus. I'm glad that you have this community to share how you are feeling and it is great to see other members of the community offering you support. I hope that this helps.

Have you spoken with your doctor about your mood? Perhaps they could offer some additional support by referring you to a counselling service? If you'd like more information and advice about services that are available, please take a look at our article here - lupusuk.org.uk/coping-with-...

If you'd like to speak to someone else with lupus for support, we have a network of trained volunteer telephone contacts who you could call for a chat. If you think this might be helpful, please just let me know and I cam provide you with more information.

I'm sorry to hear about your job. If you believe that this was an unfair dismissal and you would like to take action, our booklet has lots of useful information and advice. You can read it at lupusuk.org.uk/wp-content/u...

If you need any more information about lupus and LUPUS UK, we have a free pack which you can request or download from our website at lupusuk.org.uk/request-info...

[leslieliesel]

xoxoxoxo....I am so sorry for what you are feeling...You are young. So different from being an old white female (age63) Dx'd 62..that my Rheumy said to me....I feel rather defeated even at my age..but hey, isn't this suppose to be the BEST years of my life?? HA!

[kfmeme]

I know what you mean.... thank you … I will pray for you as well.

[Loopylou1234]

I am 33 and just been diagnosed with UCTD. Feel angry that it is taking so much from me, but also relieved as now there is a reason for my symptoms, and I'm not just losing my marbles/being a wimp, as I've told myself over the last 3 years? I'm hoping at least now with medications, my life will improve. The diagnosis doesn't change the symptoms, but does mean we can hopefully get the help/medication we need now.

[LH44 in reply to Loopylou1234]

I know how you feel, me too at 32. Currently worrying about losing my job as cannot live without a salary! ☺

[kfmeme in reply to LH44]

I will be praying for you. I understand I worked for Quest Diagnostics for 10 years. Perfect record.... my boss told me I should get on fmla although I never called in unless my little one was sick. I have worked threw pneumonia. Broken ankle everything.... I get on fmla and two months later they fired me. Went from having a very good income to nothing. I am 53 and have over 20 plus years in the medical field and now this....

[Glaciera]

I’m sorry for your diagnosis, I’m suffering from hashimotos, gastritis, pos, chronic fatigue and chronic headaches, symptoms are awful, pain in my legs, head, arms and joints. Hair loss, acne, loss of memory and concentration, I can barely walk up the stairs (all 10) steps in my house from kitchen to my room. I haven’t been working for the past 3 years due to this, spent over £2000 on doctors and tests. After lack of results and lack of action from conventional medicine, I turned to naturopath and nutritionist for help, and I’m currently undergoing protocol. I hope it will help. I’ll be 29 next month.. I’ve been poorly since I was 26.. was planning a family.. my life was put on hold.. I’m scared I won’t be able to have children now and that my career is ruined due to being out of work. Not to mention the amount of stress my family is under financially because of having to support me. I guess what I’m trying to share is that there are others here who are feeling the same or worse, it’s an awful situation to find yourself in, but know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I’d highly recommend you to not waste time with conventional doctors and just go straight to a good reputable naturopath specialist with knowledge and experience in lupus patients. Hang in there, it can and will get better, I have hope and so should you

[LH44 in reply to Glaciera]

Reading your post is like reading about myself! You are so right ☺

[kfmeme in reply to Glaciera]

I am so sorry to hear this. I guess what I most don't want to happen is for this to define me. Not only did I work as a phlebotomist we own our own construction company and I build right along with our crew. I run out crews when my husband is not on site. This past week I ripped off a roof cleaned it up and put it back on. It was in the 90s so we had to start really early. It liked to have killed me. My husband needs back surgery on his whole back so is limited on how long he can even work. He needs me. Now this.... the heat and sun makes me so sick. I am praying in Jesus name for all of us. His plan was not to make us suffer. He bore all the stripes for every sickness when he was on the cross.... thank you for replying... You will have that family someday. Do you know if it can be passed to your children?

[Glaciera in reply to kfmeme]

Your a strong person physically and mentally, I am sure you’ll be able to get through this illness in no time. I’ve noticed that when something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. But it usually helps to steer us on the right path. I wouldn’t wallow in what ifs. There’s a bit of a stigma with autoimmune illness and the root causes. From what I know, conventional doctors don’t treat the root cause, only the symptoms, the medication would likely only suppress your immune system further and do more damage to other organs, but reduce the painful symptoms. So in theory you can live comfortably whilst you die. In functional medicine the belief is that autoimmune illness stem from lifestyle, diet and other stressors, which causes inflammation. If you eliminate those your body heals. So in theory no, I do not believe it can be passed on to children, but lifestyle and bad diet choices often does, because monkey see monkey do. So I have had to be educated on my physical and mental health, make huge changes in my diet. I do believe that body can and will recover, it just needs the right fuel.

[kfmeme in reply to Glaciera]

I have to agree with you. I try to do things naturally.... our bodies were not meant to consume a bunch of chemicals..... I truly believe anything we put in our mouths that is not meant to be there.... will effect our organs. I really have a hard time knowing that dr.s want to push all kinds of different drugs to help us.... I always thought I felt well with stress... I guess not so much. I am starting on dates which will help the liver … because they have found a node on my liver they have to biopsy.... and I had to stop lupus drugs. I can tell you that my faith is in God and I fight with myself daily feeling that if I was not raising my grandbaby I would be ready... I have read so many post and I guess depression is huge. I refuse to be a quitter However, when the pain is there and the depression is over taking you.... it is easier said than done. I am not one to complain..... I was diagnosed a few weeks ago.... my isolation has been going on for quite some time. I hate this internal fight. Something has to give.

[Glaciera in reply to kfmeme]

I completely understand, as a sufferer of childhood neglect and trauma I’ve suffered from depression most of my life, there is another link I’ve discovered recently between those who have experienced stress and trauma and depression and inflammation in the body. Which makes sense because stress from physical activity, emotional, even dietary or energetic, raises cortisol and messes with blood sugar. Which can lead to further issues with inflammation in the body and autoimmune illnesses. There are many great anti inflammatory foods rich in antioxidants and vitamins and there are some amazing supplements for liver and gut support if you do decide to follow a lifestyle and diet protocol and detoxification. Hang in there

[kfmeme in reply to Glaciera]

I am in the process of detoxing my whole body.... I am doing a complete liver and kidney as well as whole body detox... I however am feeling the effects of the picking and biting. and rash.... I am going plain out of my mind..... I am eating plant base foods.... I will be making tabooli tomorrow and I am eating dates...… I am ready to pull my hair out..... other than that life is great....lololol

[Glaciera in reply to kfmeme]

Sounds like you’re on the right path to recovery! 😊🙏🏻