lupus mental pain

[nadan]

hey guys i was diagnosed with lupus since 2015 and now im used to the physical pain but im struggling now by the emotional pain it been like 2 months when i started to feel so stupid i cant understand most of the things people try to explain to me and i feel im not my self any more and so angry all the time im losing my mind and im losing all my friends and my fiance too i have very bad thoughts about that i cant get married or have children in this condition im not complaining of the pyshical pain i can take but i cant take all the personalty changes and the panic attacks and fear of dying or fainting and depression i went to the dr and he gave me meds that caused me huge weight gain that i struggled to lose so i dont want to visit him any more sorry for being so darmatic but i really need help and execuse my bad english too

[021879]

Hi nadan .. I am sorry to hear your having hard time dealing with your lupus condition.. Actually we are all the same .. We struggle pgysically and emotionally..but dont let lupus ruin your life ..dont let your situation snatch your happiness , peace , and love ❤️ we have battles and we have to get up for our selves.. no body can help as more than we help our self.. i want you to focus on the positive things ..control your emotions and try to put above all else the love your receiving from your family and friends.. above all else let us pray and ask for guidance. God loves us so much 👆

#staystrong

[nadan in reply to 021879]

thank u it makes me feel better to know that im not alone it just that all around me do not understand what im going through .thank u

[021879 in reply to nadan]

I know.. that is why we need support group like this to uplift us and make us realize its not the end of the world yet.. we're done crying and let us make the best out of it☺

There's still more blessing ahead of us ..waiting for us .. cheer up ☺☺☺

#backontrack👍👍👍😉

[021879]

Nadan ,

Its ok to be dramatic , once in a while we all need to release heavy emotions roaming around in our heart and mind .. just be sure it won't stay too long ..so could have a room for happiness and love ❤️ the earlier we accept our health condition and find a ways how to live with it with our own version of "normal life" the better person we become .. i wish i could hug you and comfort you..😔i am always here for you.. God! I had flashbacks when the time i was so confused and misunderstood 😭😭😭 but as i said we need to focus and try to get up again!

#getalife💕

[nadan in reply to 021879]

omg thats exactly what i feel now.. i really miss the old happy smiling smart me ..i was healty and fit and beautiful lupus effected us in every way ..i really hope we all be better and be our self's again

[happytulip]

I am really sorry you are having a tough emotional time. However much we want to, with this disease, it isnt always possible to stay positive and it is ok to allow yourself permission to feel down about it.

When I read your post it rang many bells with me as I went through huge turmoil when I was diagnosed. I had support from my family but they weren't aware of the severity of my condition, they are now. My fiance left me. I lost my career and had to retire at 35. I couldn't get through it by just staying positive.

I couldnt take antidepressants as they made my medical situation worse..

What has really helped is counselling with a person trained in CBT. They have really helped me look forward at what I have got and accept that I have lost a lot without pinning for my old life.

I'm still going through the process now but it is really helping me off load about my emotions, which means that I'm not off loading too much to my family.

Can your Dr refer you for some CBT? Can you go for counselling privately? Its not for everyone but has helped me. Physical pain needs to be treated with medical treatment but so does emotional pain. In fact the more emotional pain you are in, the worse your physical pain can become.

Just a thought .x

[nadan in reply to happytulip]

im so sorry 😢for every thing u went through i totally understand im too lost my job and i was studying for masters degree i left it and i lost all my money and all my friends to but now we got each other i already feel better becouse i found this group for the first time since my diagnos i found people that understand what im going through ..i dont know what is cbt but i can ask my dr in October ..thank u😍

[happytulip in reply to nadan]

CBT is cognitive Behavioural Therapy, it's where you learn to train your brain into a different way of thinking and learning new thought processes. Basically it can stop spiralling negative thoughts and try to stop them and cope with them, or to turn it into a positive thought and behaviour. That's always easier said than done but has shown to be very effective in people with chronic illness.

[DankaCi]

Dear Nadan. I am so sorry you feel this way, but the fact is that your life has changed so much because of your illness, that you would have to be very strange if you would not feel like this from time to time. However, even if it is easier said than done, just try to focus to the fact, that this life still belongs to you and even with this terrible obstacle, you can still be so happy. Look at Stephen Hawking :). Just do not forget to listen to the music you love, have a great meal you find so tasty and do not miss any book or movie that you consider interesting. And do not hesitate to go to psychologist, it could be very helpful for you to talk to someone without any personal biases. Most importantly, do not exclude your fiance from this situation. If you do not talk about the fact that your feelings and behaviour are consequence of your illness and concerns, they could be understood in the very bad way, like loosing your interest in your partner.

[nadan in reply to DankaCi]

thanks dankaci i do feel better when i read and watch a movie u r right i should go back to reading and watching the simpsons 😂 it just i miss my self and for two years now i woke up every day hoping i will be me again but from now on i will start to accept that its not going to change 😍thank u

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK]

Hi nadan ,

Welcome to the LUPUS UK community forum. I'm really glad that you have found us because it is a chance for you to get support, advice and information from people who understand and have had similar experiences to you.

Depression and anxiety are common in people with lupus and can either be the result of being diagnosed with a long-term health condition, or they can potentially be an integral part of lupus. We have a leaflet about lupus and depression which provides you with information about various support services that are available if you want them - lupusuk.org.uk/lupus-and-de...

I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with an antidepressant treatment. Unfortunately weight gain can be a side effect of some of these medicines. It is worth discussing with your doctor though because there are lots of different antidepressant and antianxiety medications and another one may suit you better? I would also take happytulip 's advice and discuss the possibility of being referred for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or counselling to see if they may help you.

If you would like more information about lupus and LUPUS UK, we have a free pack which you can request or download from our website at lupusuk.org.uk/request-info...