Lazy people piss me off.I'm in pain! Do not offer me up to do things you are too lazy to do thats total BS

[Julietsmombless2015]

I do as much as I can but by evening time I'm useless. I cannot walk literally.I sit on my bed with my foot massager and only walk to the bathroom.And it seems every evening a stupid person the same person thats lazy is asking me to do extra stuff I did not plan on.Like yesterday.I was told at noon someone else was making chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner.Other wise I would have prepared something to throw in the oven, like I do when I cook.Or just make a lean cruisin and feed my daughter her baby food.But no that person is feeling lazy and comes to me at 8:30pm asking me to make the dinner they said they were making.AFter I cooked the dinner for whole family the past 10 evenings.It pisses me off cause I dont want to repeat myself over and over. I feel like a broken record,no I feel like **** ,no I feel like ****.I let my 10 month old finger paint and it took all the energy I had. If I knew I was going to be asked to do someone else's lazy **** "they just didn't feel like doing" .I would not have done the extra finger painting cause I knew I would be completely useless afterwards.A whole house full of people nobody works. I'm on SSDI the only other person that works and I are the only ones who cook, clean ,grocery shop.It's freakin BS.If you're not working then help do house work something my god. How can you be that lazy.I am in terrible pain and I still clean do my own laundry, grocery shop, cook dinners WHT is wrong with these people.And this is an ongoing thing. Not only does this person not do ****. They are offering other people to do **** they do not want to do.Like "NO I DON'T WANT TO BUT SARAH WILL DRIVE YOU" Is that crazy or what??I hate repeating how horrible I feel I just want to do what i am able to do and be left the heck alone!You would think after the doctor confirmed .I have lupus and how bad it is and I have paperwork stating these things, people would get it and stop being such lazy *****.Its not easy getting on SSDI you have to be really ill and prove that to the courts and not able to work.I feel like nobody understands how bad I hurt. Even if I say it nobody gets it.I'm in so much pain I cry every night/evening.I hate not being able to do what I use to.I think their thoughts are"she's only 32 she can't be that bad off...And when I see healthy people just wasting their energy I wish I had, it pisses me off!Rant done.I'm glad I let my baby finger paint her first Masterpiece she had a lot of fun. And I'm glad I did that and refused to cook afterwards.. PAINT EVERYWHERE see I had a big mess to clean.

[faceme]

Give them an inch and they will take and take til you have nothing left to give. Just say no. its ok. Glad you put your foot down.

[Rachel_81]

Hi,

It really is hard being sick when it's not visible like a broken arm. I think people with chronic illnesses really could do with more empathy generally, if someone had an acute illness like a heart attack, sympathy pours in but if your illness goes on for a while people lose their support really fast.

I agree with you, if there are elements in your household that are healthy and not working, then they should be tasking up the slack. This is surely why people cohabit? To divide chores, expenses and to support each other? Have you tried sitting everyone down to try and sort out some "formal" arrangement? Divide up responsibilities according to available time, ability etc?

Please lean to say No, I know it's hard! If someone volunteers you and you don't want to or can't say No. Say, I love you, I would love to help but I can't do it, I will not do it.

It will hurt to say it the first few times, but if you don't set boundaries you will feel taken advantage of.

I cannot compare my situation, but for example, my husband kind of believed that his clothes would turn up in his wardrobe clean and ironed. I told him a few times that as we both work full time, that I was not going to be doing all of the laundry. He said he would start pulling his weight but he kept on merrily ignoring the growing pile.

I went 2 weeks without putting a single sock in the wash, he noticed when he went to get some of his gym clothes and there weren't any clean ones in the closet (that felt good). I said, well, didn't you wash any? I thought you were doing the laundry? Well, moral of the story, he now asks if I need help with the laundry, he hangs it out, brings it in, I iron it and he helps put it away. If you keep doing stuff then you wioll always do that stuff, until the day you drop the ball your family members will take for granted what you do. It's like things magically get done.

Please stand up for yourself, you deserve that.

XXXXXX

[Julietsmombless2015 in reply to Rachel_81]

Thank you helpful response.What sucks is I'm in a difficult situation.My fiance and I live with his parents.I buy the groceries, toiletries and cleaning supplies and everything for my baby of course and she pays the bills.My fiance is looking for work. I'm sure he will find a job soon.But he helps me he literally waits on me hand and foot in the evenings. He brings me my coffee rubs my feet and ankles.He can tell I'm in extreme pain it's hard to hide because my eyes just tear when I walk from the pain . I'm not crying it's just a natural response I guess to the pain.But I do all the dishes, cook most of the dinners 5 out of 7 days a week.I do all the laundry mine the babies and my fiance's and I like to help his Mother because she is the one working paying all the bills.But her husband is like the laziest thing I've ever met.He says he can't work because of back problems. Which I understand but he does nothing.Like you can fold clothing sitting on the couch,rinse your dish and throw it in the washer.But instead he does gross shit and I have to clean after it.Like leaving a spoon with peanut butter that he licked on the counter eww like I would scold a child for doing that.Throws yogurt cups and spoons behind the couch instead of walking them into the kitchen and throwing them out.And I tell her to put her clothing my the washer and I will wash them and hang them for her.I just started this week leaving his out there and not washing them purposely.On her days off she says stuff to him like"you said once you stopped working you would take care of the house and cook and clean and you dont do anything.But me its not my place to say things to him.And I think she just gave up by now.But I think he is starting to dislike me because I'm starting to say NO because she will ask him to do somehting and I will hear her asking him.And he will come ask me to do it like 10 minuets afterwards.And it makes me angry like I want to yell at him but can't.He's been denied like 10 times from SSD already and his daughter says she thinks he is faking his problems.I would never say anyone is "faking " because I'm not in their body and I do not know.I do know he does this really loud yell like the kind I do when I'm having a kidney stone attack and need an ambulance like emergency I feel like I'm dying worse pain ever.And when she's not around he doesn't do it ever.He also lays on the couch and acts like he can barely move. But when she's at work he is up doing "stuff he likes to do".So I would say at least he over exaggerates around her for sure.But either way at best we are both in pain and he should be being the "house husband" like how I'm the housewife in my family.It's annoying but also I'm in no position to say anything lol..And if I slack on things she will be the one picking up that slack and she already works herself to the bone you know.

[Rachel_81]

Maybe it would be better if your fiance were to mediate? It's his parents, they will probably cut him more slack?

I hope he gets a job soon and you get to move out, it will really improve your life. It must be a very stressful situation.

Good luck!

XXX

[Julietsmombless2015 in reply to Rachel_81]

It is but thats life .I'm too sick to work .So when he was working we had to live with someone.I have ssi but its not enough to live on our own still.My illness is what made him lose his job to begin with.I was having kidney problems during the last months of pregnancy and after I had our daughter he had to care for me and the baby.It was too much and he lost his job before we even had her.Since then its been side jobs nothing in stone you know.I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without help I was in severe pain then I had surgery and had to heal,it was a rough few months.

[Rachel_81 in reply to Julietsmombless2015]

Awww, I hope things get better soon! XXXX

[Waulahn5]

It's good to rant sometimes.understand completely. Some days you could just scream... Don't know anyone personally who has lupus.try to explain best I can . most frustrating thing about this disease is random symptoms. You don't where how or when you're going to get invaded

[Julietsmombless2015 in reply to Waulahn5]

I am just about to write a post about symptoms I do not know if they are related but they showed up as my "flare up" as my doctor calls it did.There are so many things its hard to remember or even want to mention to a doctor.