I guess that I am having one of those bad days filled with the frustration that despite the pain in my right knee and hip, (and yes if they get much worse I really can only see one option, and that is very shortly I will have to use a stick to get about) I should be achieving much more than I seem capable. This has got me to thinking of how it feels to be me right now. How best to describe hat I feel like when under attack. And the best analogy that I can come up with is that I have always been a full speed 18-20hour a day person with the ability to slip into top gear and stay there at full tilt for days/sometimes weeks on end. However at the moment I feel like a push-bike with several intermediate gears missing, so that I find it very difficult (mostly all but impossible) to get into top gear, and the shear effort of getting there when I manage I means that I no longer have the energy to sustain it for anywhere close enough to get me over the brow of the hill. Indeed at the moment I find the thought of the effort required so overwhelming that I have little motivation to even try. More often nowadays I have little enough motivation or energy to even set off on the journey, even in a very low gear.