thoughts...: In a life prior to this illness trying... - LUPUS UK

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thoughts...

scoobydoo1 profile image
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In a life prior to this illness trying to take over my life, I used to be a volunteer, something which I had done from being around 17 firstly with the red cross providing first aid at events and also on the fire victim support unit, now called fire and emergency support unit. left that in 2003 and set up my county search and rescue team, roll back 2 years- 2001 was privileged to have been chosen by a little black Labrador puppy called Jake as his master, friend and partner, we both trained and Jake became a search and rescue dog. we left the team in 07 and started another specialist team, Jake stayed with me throughout, we carried on doing the search work until the end of 2011, then I had my breakdown, Jake gave me so much support, just a hug with him made it all ok then I got ill with this flare, so did Jake having been in the flare from august till November it became apparent Jake was really ill he had a massive down turn and I had to make the decision not to let him suffer, he was 11. so as well as my life being taken away I lost my best friend too. not sure if my illness has been made worse since loosing him. but being more positive joined a choir and met many good friends. this last year has really hit home hard nothing lasts for ever, life is meant for living and when you have something good in your life and it ends or goes away be thankful that you had it in your life even for a short while..

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scoobydoo1
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uzi41 profile image
uzi41

Hi you are so right, living for the moment and enjoying each and everything that you do now is so important. A year ago I did Zumba at least 3 times a week, climb stairs with not a single thought about pain. When I think back I can't remember if I was thankful for all I was or had at the time.

I've got a chest infection this week its been a long time since I have been this bad and was sent home on monday from work by our head teacher and I just wanted to cry because I felt tbis is nothing compared to how bad it is going to be, I haven't had a single day off all year and just kept thinking I not allowed to stop, if I stop its all down hill from here.

Sorry I know this was about your thoughts, have been meaning to post something but just get very upset. ...sorry again. Take care... xx Uzi xx

Heatheric profile image
Heatheric

it is really hard when you're feeling so rough to think positively - but life is not a rehearsal and it is short so we have to try and make the most of it, even if we can't do the things we want to do - just appreciating the sounds of birds, watching the wind in the trees, keeping in touch with loved ones - that's what makes the world go round.

pattismith profile image
pattismith

Do you no longer have a dog ? I have 2 dogs, they are 9 now, lost the 3rd 2 years ago when l was diagnosed. I couldn't manage without then, they are my companions and make me get up in the morning. Animals are such a comfort and you can always rely on then, they changed when l became ill and are so protective towards me.

madmagz profile image
madmagz

Dear Scoobydoo

I'm glad that you can see some positive and take comfort from your memories of such a special four legged friend I had to make the same heart breaking decision a little while ago. Since I got my diagnosis I have not let this dear disease stop me living I have just tweaked the way that I do live. I don't go sailing any longer as I am photosensitive and it proved difficult to avoid all the U.V. rays and acquire enough daylight sailing hours to complete my practical coastal skipper's qualification so decided to go down another path and take my "finger out of the sailing pie in life" and have a try at putting it in the "photography pie" some friends of ours were starting a photography club so we went along and I have found that I love it. I'm surprised that I have not been arrested yet for rolling round on my belly or back in public places capturing the perfect image as I do get some funny looks sometimes but we do live in such a beautiful country and I really appreciate it now. One door closed and another opened.

I will NOT let it take over my life it is in the background, yes the pain is difficult sometimes and I have to postpone things if my health is bad or I'm in hospital but I was here first it's my life and it has joined me not taken over.

I do voluntary work and thoroughly enjoy it, I get so much satisfaction just out of making somebody's day a little bit better and making them smile is my payment I don't need anything more than that. I may only manage three hours a couple of times a week but can build on that with time.

Good luck and enjoy living

Madmagz x

KathinAyrshire profile image
KathinAyrshire

Dear Scoobydo,

Allow yourself time to grieve for Jake, I know you have found other diversions since his death but it does not lessen the loss, each 'doggy' person is so fortunate if they have the dog of a lifetime and it seems Jake's was yours! The highest compliment you could give him is to regret his loss so much that you search for a replacement, not to worry, he will be waiting at the rainbow bridge for you!!

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