The Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation
3,285 members1,867 posts


Hello, Roger, my son,who is 47 and is living with me, was in August 2012 diagnosed with Stage 4 non operable lung cancer. The spread is to lymph nodes and they say there is

" something " in the liver they are keeping an eye on and also " something" in a couple of ribs. He has his final chemotherapy next week. He has had one blood transfusion three weeks ago but is refusing a second transfusion even though his blood count is low. He has been told to have complete rest for this week or the final chemo will not take place. As a Mother I am finding his illness tough as he does not want to talk about things. He was given 12months in August 2012 but a further 4months after chemo. I just need some help..

4 Replies


Sorry you are having such a difficult time. My husband wouldn't talk about anything after he was diagnosed. He wanted everything to be 'normal'. He was I suppose in denial but that was just his way of coping. I only found out after he died just what the doctors had told him. He told me his first diagnosis and nothing afterwards. He didn't tell me when they said it was inoperable, or when he didn't respond to treatment. He said everything was progressing and the Doctor's had it under control.

Why doesn't he want the transfusion? My husband had one and felt so much better afterwards. My dad has had several and is stable at the moment. It is especially hard being the carer and watching a loved one suffer, remember to look after your self. Try and live in the moment and not worry too much about the future. If he doesn't want to talk about things just try and share things he enjoys whether it is watching certain tv programmes, sport or whatever it is.

Take carex


Hi Dressage,

I'm so sorry to hear about your son.

I hope that the words of support and advice on this site, such as those of willowtree, can give you some comfort and reassurance.

I think that for many people, hearing real experiences can be invaluable.

I would also agree with Willowtree about the transfusion. It can make a huge difference to energy levels.

Ensure that you take care of yourself too.

Best wishes,



Hi Dressage, I am also so sorry to hear about your son Roger. It is hard for the person who has this awful disease and for the carer, Family & Friends to deal with. Try to keep strong and positive. I also have to agree with Willowtree and Beth about having the transfusion. But please remember to look after yourself as well.

Wishing you all the best.



Thank you all for your wonderful words of support., I don't feel quite so alone after reading your words. Roger did in fact did have a 9 hr transfusion a month ago, which did improve his standard of life for a short time. I believe he just feels when in a hospital situation, he is not in control. In August last year he was told he could have 12months to live, the Oncoligist said that Chemotherpy could give him an extra 4months.


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