Dressage

Hello, my son Roger has terminal lung cancer he is 48 and I am caring for him at home, he has had several months of chemotheropy and two stent procedures, finishing with radiation. The doctor and hospice nurse told me today that we are looking at weeks rather than months. I will be caring for him until the end, as it Is his wish that he remains at home.

I would appreciate any help, I am on my own and pray I will be strong for him.

13 Replies

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  • Sorry to hear this sad news Dressage. You will find the strength from somewhere cause thats what us mum's do.

    Get in touch with your McMillan nurses, they're excellent at helping with any queries you might have.

    Stay strong xx

  • my prayers are with you ,keep strong

  • So so sorry, you will find the strength, my family and I will be praying very hard for you,, God bless you both. xxx,

  • Sorry to hear your news. I am sure the Macmillan nurses will be able to offer you help so that your son can stay at home.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you

    Sue xx

  • Hello Dressage

    Caring for Roger may be emotionally and physically exhausting, though I hope rewards you with some precious time together. There may be a range of MacMillan, Marie Curie and local hospice support available to help care for him at home. It is worth finding out what palliative support you can get soon, rather than carrying on until you are exhausted. They may be able to provide equipment, suggestions about ways of managing and support service that make thing easier day to day. If you wish to email or call us on 0333 323 7200, option 2 or email information@roycastle.org with details of where you live and we can find out about local care service,

    take care

    Lorraine

    on behalf of the Information & Support team

  • Hi i lost my dad to lung cancer in december,although he passed in the hospital it was veru quick at the end and v.peaceful which is a grt comfort to know as through his last days he was in pain.my dad knew it was his last few days so talking to him and letting him no we would be ok and not to worry about the family.thanking him for everything and telling him we loved him all this is a huge comfort.im sure the nurses will help and advice u medical wise.i gave my dad small drinks..when he was weak i just made sure his lips were moist...water and vasiline.my dad found lying down sore and uncomfortable so he gpt confortable sitting up with pillows leaning over a table until he had medication to help with pain then he laid down..got to hot,wiped his face with a cold cloth n opened a window..got to cold use a heat pad microwave ones are good.my dad liked his back been rubbed .everyone is diffrent and its such a difficult stressful time but basic care will wmakes a diffrence.im sure the nurse will help ease as much pain with the medication.my heart goes out to u and of course ur son.u have that special love.take care x

  • Thank you all for your overwhelming support and prayers. I am having huge help from the Hospice nurses, which here in Jersey are the same as MacMillan In the UK. Today I went to the hospital to be shown how to manage home oxygen, which has arrived and is already making a difference.We have everything in place so that Roger can remain at home with me. I am hoping that the beauty and tranquility we have here will work a little magic. X

  • Hi, I lost He was in hospital for the last week of his life but was very content and relaxed, I think he knew what was happening and was in a strange way ready for it. He wasnt in pain and was still chatting all week. On the saturday night i couldnt leave him so all my family went and i stayed on my own with him. His sense of humour still there till the end and apart from being a bit restless he went quickly at the end and quite peacefully. He even had a little smile on his face. I have never been with anyone at their end of life before but it has put me at ease for when my time comes, He even had relations waiting for him and spoke their names very clearly. I know its such a stressful time and i do wonder now how i got through it but we do it because we love our family, I never cried when i was with my dad that night, I didnt want his last thought to be of me crying, i smiled at him all the time and he returned them, even pursing his lips for a kiss. I would do anything for my dad and im sure you will too for your son Roger. There is plenty of time for tears later, Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers , June xx

  • At the beginning it was meant to say I lost my lovely dad !

  • Thank you all for your overwhelming support and prayers. I am having huge help from the Hospice nurses, which here in Jersey are the same as MacMillan In the UK. Today I went to the hospital to be shown how to manage home oxygen, which has arrived and is already making a difference.We have everything in place so that Roger can remain at home with me. I am hoping that the beauty and tranquility we have here will work a little magic. X

  • Hi dressage, so very sorry to hear you news about your son Roger. As his mum you will find the strength to carry on for him. You will be both in my Prayers, hope God gives you some great memories.

    Georgie xxxx

  • What a truly wonderful and strong mother you are, I salute you.

  • Thank you for your lovely words, especially welcome at this time as things are very bleak.

    Roger continues to be brave and totally calm and gentle, which makes caring for him all the more heartbreaking. Support from the nurses is totally wonderful, at night when I am alone the responsibility is sometimes overwhelming. As time slips away for him your prayers would be greatly appreciated . Thank you.

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