Lung cancer and brain mets

Just really an update .we went to see oncologist yesterday .they said he has 4 mets 1 at the front off head 3 to the back .the only treatment they are offering is palliative radiotherapy. Fall head radiation. They say his got months rather then years all a bit off a shock how do you come to terms with that there isnt much they can do and his going to die how do i tell my children and my grand children feel so lost and scared .

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  • Hello miasam,

    this must have been a very difficult time for you and all the family, waiting for test results is very stressful and understandably this news will have been a shock to hear.

    Is there a Maggie's Centre attached to the hospital where your husband has been having his treatment? These centres can provide valuable comfort during this difficult time they are staffed by Cancer Support Specialists, Benefits Advisors, Nutritionists, therapists and Psychologists who can support you in whichever way best suits your needs and will provide valuable comfort during this difficult time. I have added a link below to their website.

    maggiescentres.org/

    Also contact your lung cancer specialist nurse she will be aware of your husbands diagnosis and will give him and the family support and advice at this difficult time

    Feel free to contact us at the Nurse Led Helpline if you need someone to talk to or have any questions you would like to ask. Freephone 0800 358 7200.

    Kind regards

    Roy Castle Helpline

  • Thank you for your support and advice its been good to be able to talk to someonewho understands carol

  • Hello miasam, So sorry to hear about your husband. You have had really good advice from the Roy Castle helpline. What I would like to say , is you have a lot to cope with from now on. So please dont neglect yourself. If anyone offers any form of help take it. Your husband and children need you fit and well at times like these.

    As for telling your children, depending on their ages, you may be better off saying daddy is very poorly and will need looking after. Then in time in your own way you can talk about pets going to heaven and introduce it that way. Children are pretty good at understanding things , sometimes better than us adults.

    Lots of love being sent to you and your family. xxxx

  • Thank you my children are grown ups but was still very hard to tell them my grand children are 1 2 6 17 and 19still havent told them yet its nice to have someone to talk to x carol

  • Your welcome to talk anytime . I really mean that. ☺

  • I am so very sorry for you. Love and prayers sent your way xx

  • Thank you x carol

  • Sorry to read about your husband. As others have said, there are different avenues for help for all of you at the different stages of this situation. hope you can manage to support one another at this really difficult time for you all. What suits one in terms of support may not be for others - some people want to talk about their situation, others withdraw.

    This and other forums are good for you or your husband to ask questions, share concerns and fears and hopefully gain some reassurance and support from others who've been in similar circumstances.

    Unsure of the ages of your grandchildren but this link may help.

    nursingtimes.net/news/resea...

    Good luck. Thinking of you all..

  • Thank you for being there x carol

  • We all support one another - that's why we're a lung cancer community in a club all of us would rather not belong to but at least being at different stages, hopefully we can help others by listening or responding x

  • Miasam....so sad for you,this is exactly how i lost my wife 2yrs ago....l/c with brain mets.....she had full head radio...which did stop the seizures and she never suffered from the mets again....sadly the l/c was to far advanced to save her,She told her children exactly what was and will happen....how i don't know and still don't know how she had that conversation with them...Make memories and just be there for them all.....its hard sooooohard....i wish there was something more positive i could say....thinking of you x

  • Thank you we have just been to france the doctor said it was ok we found out on the Thursday and went france on Friday to give us time to think .as he hasnt had the palitive radiotherapy yet we have an appointment on monday to talk over side afects and things like that .they dont tell you much off what to exspect will happen to him as in turms off how ill will he get he has 4 mets 1 at the front off his head and 3 a round the back off his head .the lung cancer seems under control most off the lung on the right has gone after 2 operations 1 in june 2015 and recurrence in july 2016 .im so sorry about your wife it must be very difficult. Im so scared about him going ive been with him 42 years id be lost with out him xx carol

  • So glad you managed to get away.....we were due to go the day after my wife passed.......the only side affect of the radio on my wife was the hair loss...nothing more....she had 2 mets........You will cope...we all do,how i don't know but we do xxx john

  • Dear Miasam,

    I was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer with brain mets in Sept 2016. My 3 children aged 21 17 & 15 back then with my son preparing HSC. I told them and it was hard & sadness at the time. But they have coped with my sickness a lot better than I thought they would be and life goes on. Life is not all smooth sailing and crises mature them. Most important of all, our whole family believe in Jesus Christ and we know that death is only the doorway to a perfect everlasting life with God without tears pain sickness. Therefore such hope sustains us. Our days are in His hand. Praise Him He has controlled my cancer thus far!

    Pray and trust in Him - He has the best life plan for each of His loved ones. God bless you and your family!!!

  • Thank you for your reply .we have told the elder 2 grandchildren 17. 19 now they were very upset but they are very positive saying that his got plenty off time left the steroids his on have put a lot off weight on him and a week in france has gave him a good tan strange really he looks so well .we have an appointment with doctor to discuss the 1 session off palitive radiotherapy he is being offord on monday .not shore what will happen next i know they will wean him off the steroids. But after that they have not told us what happens next will he be ill after i think its the fear off the unknown that worrys you more then anything was you told you had lung cancer and mets at the same time or like dave my husband having lung cancer for the first time in 2015 ehich they operated on then it came back in 2016 were he had more lung taken away .they found the mets when he got quite sick with vomiting headaches collapsing slured speach 3 weeks ago .but steriods have done wounders .how are you are you good in your self are you on steriods. X carol

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