My heart is broken, my world is empty.

[Fifi24]

My husband,has sadly returned to his creator.

The tumour in his lymph node near his right bronchus had grown so much it was growing upwards towards windpipe, closing off his air entry to both lungs..

Because he was too weak, they could not put a stent in.

His struggle was over 5 days... but he remained Whitby and cracking jokes up until the last day.

It was shocking and painful, he passed away peacefully, he did have morphine in a syringe driver, that's what kept him settled from being so distressed.

The nurses tried hyoscine to dry up secreations, but all it caused him was feel really itchy... so I stopped them giving this... please be vigilant upon your loved ones symptoms, when certain drugs are given.

I did not want my husband to be sedated throughout so I made sure they were not giving him drugs to sedate him throughout.

Morphine was to help settle his lung muscles which did help him breath with a bit more ease.

Yes his loss was immensely upsetting, but the whole 13 months of looking after him I know in my heart We did what we could to keep him going...

Keep him strong, he had treatments to try and keep his health strong... but it was gods will it just was not meant to be.

This is an evil disease.... it always takes the best...

[RoyCastleHelpline Partner Ask the Nurse Roy Castle]

Dear Fifi24,

How very sorry we are to hear your husband has died,please accept our sincere condolences.It is no doubt a comfort to you that he died so peacefully. The next few weeks and months will be difficult for you and your family, but in time to come, when you reflect on how you managed to care for him for so long,hopefully this will bring you some comfort.If you feel that you would like to talk to someone,please don't hesitate to call the nurse led Helpline :Freephone 0800 358 7200

Kind regards,

All the team at the Roy Castle Helpline

[Brogan-12]

So sorry for your loss i lost my boyfreind tge end of march after 6months. Of nursing him at home i also done the exact same as you. Regarding medication. It a horrible. Illness to go threw. For both of you. It takes evrey thing. From your. Loved one may all who have lost their fight R.I.P free from pain xx

[Ruth65]

Dear Fifi

I have just seen this post about the loss of your husband,I am so sorry!I can,t believe how kind and caring you have been to answer my post when you are grieving for your husband.You must be such a lovely special lady and your husband was so lucky to have had you caring for him.God bless,you are in my thoughts.

Ruth.xx