Nervous and anxious

Hi everyone

After being off sick for 16 weeks, the time has come for me to consider returning back to work due to financial reasons. At the end of October last year my family life started to fall apart, with the two most precious people in my life becoming unwell- firstly my husband who had been undergoing chemotherapy for SCLC had been admitted into hospital and my father being admitted into intensive care with kidney failure and sepsis - I felt like my world was cashing down on me and I became anxious and started having panic attacks. My employers haven't been supportive in any shape or manner and they have now made it clear that I am expected to return to work as soon as possible because of comments they are making but deep down I really don't know if I am going to manage this. My caring role has still not eased and I am still caring for two people on a full time basis. I feel full of guilt because the time clock is still ticking for my husband and I want to stay with him and make his final weeks/months as comfortable and fun as possible. I sit and cry when my husband is asleep because I feel such a failure because it all comes down to money why I have to go back to work, how can you be expected to run a home on £88 per week when you have a mortgage etc still to pay even though your husband is fighting for his life and trying to keep positive. Life is so cruel and I just want to run a thousand miles but I know I can't because my loved ones need me right beside them whilst they make this journey. Sorry moan. Take care everyone x

2 Replies

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  • Hi Elaine, Sorry to hear about your hubby and your father. No wonder you feel anxious and

    nervous, that is a lot to take on. Have you tried contacting roycastle.org

    03333237200

    or the macmillan for financial help.

    I know when I first found out about my cancer it was one of those that offered me help towards caring etc. I am sure they will advise you. You have nothing to lose.

    Like you say times are hard enough without financial worries.

    Wishing you a brighter future for you and your family. xx

  • Dear Elaine

    Welcome to the forum, and sorry to hear of your Husband and Father. As jillygirl has said it is a lot to take on. Such a stress for you, prioritising time with your Husband but trying to deal with the strain of finances and pressure from work.

    Macmillan support have a specialised team that can provide valuable advice on benefits you are entitled to and how to access them. Call them on 0808 808 0000 Monday to Friday 9-8pm

    There is a useful financial advice tool on the macmillan support link - finance.macmillan.org.uk/

    Roy Castle can offer a small grant to people affected by lung cancer. For more information on this and benefits you will find on our website roycastle.org and roycastle.org/patientgrants

    You may also find more information by calling Disability Benefits Helpline is 08457 123 456 or make an appointment with your local Citizens Advice Bureau - 03444 111 444

    You may be entitled to financial help with Council Tax, check with your local council. Your Husbands lung cancer specialist nurse can provide information on benefits for travelling to and from hospital.

    If you have a Maggies centre at your local hospital, they can also provide information on benefits in your local area.

    Perhaps discuss with your GP how you are feeling (which you may have done already) or if it helps he/she may provide a letter of support to your employer. Carers need just as much care and support as those being cared for and there is a lot of help out there. Receive as much help as you can get both emotionally and financially.

    If you wish to discuss anything we have a free nurse led helpline number on 0333 323 7200

    Wishing you all the very best

    Kind regards

    The Roy Castle Support Team

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