Bad News

Hi, my Stepdad has been to the consultant today to find out his prognosis, unfortunately I couldn't go but my husband went with him and has just messaged me to say that it is bad news - he has been given months to live without treatment and a year at most with. I don't know the full picture yet but he has been sent for a chest x-ray and starts Chemo on 26th August. We are away on holiday (for just under a month!) from Saturday, my Mom is frail and unable to do much (she has her own health issues!!). I just don't know how to get my head around it all and what I can do to help. Any advice would be welcome. I can't imagine how he is feeling, how do you digest news like that? Life can be so cruel ....

5 Replies

  • Have a word with his lung cancer nurse, or phone the help line with Roy Castle lung foundation. Telephone

    03333237200 Give you and your family a couple of weeks it might not seem as bad as what it does now. I know I had a struggle accepting my prognosis when I was told. Time is precious so try and enjoy your time together. xxxx

  • Thanks for your reply - I really appreciate it. Life is precious and it is a shame that it takes something like this to truly realise how precious it really is.

  • Sorry your step dad's prognosis sounds so bleak. Please bare in mind that doctors and consultants aren't God's.

    We decided not to go down the 'how long have I got' route. We know that this is a very personal journey and time scales are just guestimates having known a friend who was given 6 months and lasted 7 years! . My husband is striving to see our grandaughters first day at school (she's 14 months old) and woe betide anyone who says that's unrealistic. Take each day as it comes. Enjoy the small things and don't focus too much on what may or may not be in 12 months time

    Netty x

  • It's extremely difficult for anyone who has not gone through this prognosis to comprehend how ones emotions are put through the wringer. After my diagnosis in February this year I was told a median life span of 12 months is common with Stage 4 and mets.

    That's not to say any of my family, medical team or I accept this, we shall strive to prolong my time on this planet for much longer.

    Let us know what chemo plan your stepdad is going to have and we will all try and help him get through it.

    Also as Jilly says please get in touch with the Roy Castle Foundation as they have lots of leaflets to give him advice and questions to ask his LCN if necessary. We all handle this disease differently so all I can advise is that you give your stepdad any support he needs, whether it be providing transport, information or just simply someone to talk too.

    Good Luck Rab.

  • Thanks both for your replies, some really helpful information. It doesn't feel real (I wish it wasn't!). I will have to get on top of things when I get back from my hols (not great timing!). Thanks again

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